Just so you don't think I'm lazy

But, I'm still not supermom!

Super Mom

I am not. Most of us aren't; We just get by, barely. But, then there are those who I am sure might take flight any minute, donning a cape and springing into action. I always wonder about these women, these seemingly normal moms with normal life's but who seem to harbor supernatural, superhero powers.

How is it that I've NEVER, EVER, seen so and so without her hair done and her makeup on? I mean, I'll see her at like 8:00 in the morning, long flowing gorgeous hair, beautiful heart shaped pout, dressed to a T. Never, ever a ponytail. Never, ever sweats, never, ever even an eyelash out of place.

How is it that when I drop by so and so's house anytime of day, unannounced, there is never anything out of place. I stop first thing in the morning and her house already sparkles and shines. So, I try again, this time around bedtime, the kids have been home for hours now and she's been busy making dinner and helping with homework. Still, immaculate.

How is it that so and so immerses her day in selfless service? Everyday you can find her helping someone from babysitting to laundry, to driving someone to appointments. All this while balancing her own family and her own needs.

How is it that so and so can take her young brood of four to the grocery store with out any meltdowns or tantrums. How is it that they all sit quietly in the cart or walk obediently nearby without without shrieking "I want this!" or "he hit me". There are no high speed chases through the produce. Just kind, obedient kids.

Yes, these are people I know. I know that they are exceptions to the rule and I like to think that they are hiding some deep dark secret and that their life really sucks more than mine but I only do that to make my self feel better. The truth is, these are the people I try to emulate. The ones who seem to have it all together. The ones who seem to be perfect. But, in the end I always come up way too short. I normally don't try to be so hard on myself but I fallen to new depths of laziness lately. I'm lucky to shower. Make-up? ya right! You come over to my house right now and I'd warn you to not trip over the toys or step in the mushed banana. Chances are, if you come to my house today, Owen will be running around naked, the floor will be unswept, you will be able to smell the laundry rotting in the laundry room. I have given up. Some days pass without me being able to recall even the slightest thing I've accomplished. My "to do" list grows while my "done" list shrinks. Super mom? I am not. A good mom? maybe. Overworked, overstressed, and overweight mom? defiantly. And it's ok. I don't need to be perfect and besides,I like to keep things in balance. Today for instance. I should be doing this

and this

and yes, this too

But...right now I'm blogging. Because...we all know what is more important!

Meet Steve and Lexi

This is Adam's BFF (I'm pretty fond of him too!). He's known Steve since they both made the varsity soccer team as freshmen. We like to refer to them as Uncle Steve and Aunt Lexi. They have 3 beautiful boys:

Son #1

Son #2

Son #3

And in this cute little belly of hers is son #4! AND...


...Daughter #1!!!!!!!!! Yippee!! They're having twins! And one of them is a girl!! I have to say we are all in little shock. Not as much as Steve and Lexi who are still digesting what this all means! Five little kids...Three of them 14 months and under!! Oh my...

Stop, Collaborate and listen...

Ice is back with my brand new invention

I heard a radio anouncement this morning for the upcoming Vanilla Ice an MC Hammer concert. It's amazing the feelings and memories that hearing a song can conjure up! Hearing this song immediatley brought me back to 14 years old and The Palace. It was only the coolest place ever for a 14 year old to hang out and you could find me and my friends there everyweekend! It was dance club and it was one of the few places that catered to high school students one night a week. It was the place I met my first highschool "boyfriend" whose was from the rivaling school, Timpview. It was place I could go, let loose and not worry about any of my problems at home or school. There was a rap room that I was always too scared to go in but many of my friends were cool enough to enter. There was the main floor where you could always count on Ice, Ice baby and U can't touch this and then there was the mod room where you could always count on black lights, Rock lobster and couples making out in the corner. We hung out mainly on the main floor but also felt just as comfortable in the mod room. We would dance to our hearts content, check out boys, make fun of girls. My "boyfriend" Dennis and his friends were always the center of attention with their hip hop attitude and their latest and greatest moves. Man I loved that place! We were cool and we knew it! I remember the little hamburger joint in the parking lot and cramming into Candice's station wagon as soon as she was old enough to drive. We were always primped and ready to party. I remember Ivan and Theo and all the other Timpview boys that we thought were so cool. It was definatly one of my high school highlights! After the palace closed we started going to the Ivy tower but it just wasn't the same. The Palace was the best. I will think of it everytime I hear that song....


Ice ice baby vanilla, ice ice baby vanilla
Ice ice baby vanilla, ice ice baby vanilla

Yo man -- lets get out of here! word to your mother!

I am participating in Walk Now for Autism

You will all be recieving the following email from me soon:

Please join me in my fight to make a difference in the lives of the more than 1 million Americans living with autism today.

I am participating in Walk Now for Autism to help find a cure for autism. Autism is the second most common developmental disorder in the United States affecting one in every 150 children born today. Despite some promising discoveries, the cause of autism is unknown and a cure does not exist. Research is crucial. Every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed with autism. Not only must we find ways to improve the quality of life for children and adults with autism, but we also must find a cure, and soon.

Walk Now for Autism is our chance to make a difference in the fight against autism by raising money for autism research and heightening public awareness. Please join me in my fight as I raise money to help fund essential research. You can donate to Walk Now for Autism and/or join my team online using the links at the bottom of this page. Donations can also be mailed to Autism Speaks using the donation form located on my page or send me a check made out to Autism Speaks.

Thank you for taking an important step in the fight against autism.

Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Autism Speaks 501 (C)(3) Tax Id #: 20-2329938

Matching gift program: Many companies provide their employees with matching gifts. Please consult your employer on its matching gift guidelines and attach matching gift forms accordingly.

I have decided to go ahead and join the walk now for Autism. I really wanted to do it last year but found out about it too late. I am looking for donations and also a team. There is no fee to sign up and walk but they want everyone to try to raise $250 If you are at all interested contact me

Blaulking

It's official. I've officially fallen prey to some sort of psycho, blogstalking (aka blaulking) illness. This morning I had a friend request from my friend Lezlie. She was my BFF in grade school but you know the story...we've lost contact over the years. When I checked her blog I found a goldmine of links to blogs of others I grew up with but haven't seen in years. So, guess what I've been doing all morning?? Yep. I've been "catching up". I felt so naughty and slightly weird reading about their lives, seeing what they've been up too the last little while, checking out their kiddos. Yes, I am the reason people make their blogs private. I did leave comments though...is it really stalking if I leave a comment telling them I'm there? Please tell me it's not!

Do it for him

If you know me, you know I stay as far away from politics as possible. It's the "don't cause a scene" part of me. Not that I'm not interested in what is happening in our society...I'm just not very out spoken. There is one bill that is of particular interest to me this year. It's called Clay's law and it would required private health insurance to cover the cost of treating Autism Spectrum disorders. This is a HUGE deal to parents with children who have Autism. I can only imagine how different our life would be if this law was in effect 6 years ago when Ian was diagnosed! Did you know that a typical ABA program costs between $16,000-$25,000 a year??? Not even an option for us. This bill would mandate that our private insurance paid for this. Here are the basics of SB 43:

*Requires private health insurance companies to provide coverage for the diagnosis and treatment of autism spectrum disorder

*Coverage will be provided to individuals under the age of 17

*Coverage under this bill is subject to an maximum benefit of $50,000 annually for a child who is less than 9 years old and a maximum benefit of $25,000 annually for a child who is between 9 and 17 years old

*Coverage provided for treatment of autism spectrum disorders, defined as any treatment generally accepted by the medical community or the American Academy of Pediatrics as an effective treatment for children with autism

*The bill includes coverage of the following treatments: Habilitative or rehabilitative care, Early intensive behavior therapy, Pharmacy care, Psychiatric care, Psychological care, Therapeutic care, Occupational therapy, and Speech therapy

*The bill applies only to fully-funded health plans governed by state

*If passed the bill will go into effect on July 1, 2010

The final vote on this bill is today and I really wished I had rallied around it and petitioned my senator. It's time to step up to the plate and give our kids what they deserve...a chance at life!

I do it myself!

One of the funnest and also most frustrating things about having a 2 year old is how independent they think they are. Just ask Owen and he'll tell you "I do it!" But, I have a container of yogurt and a gallon of milk on my floor that say otherwise. Today he's been very busy being independent. He's made his own cereal, got his jammies back on after going potty, wiped his own bum , changed the roll of toilet paper and even washed his own hair (with the entire bottle of shampoo!). Some of these he was successful at, others, he needed help. He's very resistant to help and so I often let him try until he finally asks for help. I've been thinking about this a lot this morning. Why doesn't he just ask for help?? Why does he think he can do this all on his own. I'm right here!! It hit me that this must be how our Heavenly Father feels as he watches us struggle. "I'm right here!" he must think "just ask for help!" I've decided I've been trying to be too independent lately and not asking for enough help. Just like with Owen, It's important for us to learn and grow and be independent, but, there are times that we are going to struggle. There are times we won't be quite sure how to do it on our own. It's in those times we are not alone. We have help. But... we do need to ask. I'm finding that the older I get the more difficult the road of life is to navigate. Even with all the experience behind me, I still need help to find the right path. I suppose it's always going to be this way, whether we're 2, 33 or 85. I imagine we will always need help even when we boldly proclaim "I DO IT MYSELF!" Sometimes we can't do it ourselves. Good thing we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and is always there to help. All we need to do is ask!

Stupid with a capital S

So, My post last month titled Thrifty with a capital T should have gone on to say Stupid with a capital S. If you remember it was my experience with not just one but three boxes of hair color I bought on clearance at Walgreens. Yesterday I went in for a much needed haircut. It's pretty sad when even your husband starts noticing all the split ends. As I'm walking out the door to get my hair done he says "why don't you go blond again". So, I think about it and how bad the dark really looks and decide to go ahead and ask. I've never actually had a stylist laugh at me. "um," she says, "you do realize your hair is, um, green??? And, it's like, spotted and streaky???" Of course, not wanting her to think I've walked around the last 4 weeks completely oblivious to this fact I reply "um, ya, it was a bad home coloring incident." She then proceeds to call over two other stylists to get their opinion on what to do to fix it. The conclusion was to do an all over color as close to my natural as possible. They all felt if she added a little red, it would best counteract the green. "Red?" I say, "I don't want to be red." They all kinda chuckle and said "well, at least red is a natural hair color...green is not." So I give the go ahead with the intentions of adding some blond in a few weeks when my hair has had some time to recover. So, as we're rinsing it out she says "wow, your hair really pulls red" YES! I know...I usually mention this when going blond because I always end up orangish if I don't. I didn't think I'd need to mention it when going dark. Over and over she says this and inside I am slowly starting to panic. At this point there isn't much I can do about it so I just let her finish and I head out. She makes sure to give me a card and she tells me to come back in few weeks if it's too red but that it should fade. I think Adam was less than thrilled. I'm not totally freaking out but it is a huge change. BUT, it's amazing how much better I feel with a color and cut. It may not be exactly the color I was going for but it feels so much better than before. Please remind me of this next time you see me in the hair color isle!!


BTW, for my sis, Matthais said "who do you think you are? Aunt Missy?" Nope Matthais...she would never be so stupid...

I'll admit it. I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's day. I just don't get why you need a day to tell those you love that you love them. But, I do have kids who love it and so I celebrate it. Since it was on a Saturday this year we had double the celebrations. Friday was spent celebrating at school where I helped with Ian's class party. The kids came home with loads of candy and treats. We did Millie's hair in a Valentine heart and Matthais's guitar valentine box won "the coolest" by unanimous vote.

Saturday morning I treated the kids to Valentine donuts and Chocolate milk and we did Millie's hair in another heart hairdo.



For dinner I made a tasty Island Pork Tenderloin, coconut rice, green salad with chocolate dipped strawberries. For desert we had a fabulous heart shaped chocolate and strawberry cake. The kids thought it was so cool to eat with candles and of course wouldn't leave it alone. Even though Adam PROMISED not to do anything he gave me $50 gift cards to pamper myself. First stop: haircut! I didn't do anything for him and felt a little bad but I deserved it. Last year I promised him I wouldn't do anything and then I ambushed him with a naughty candy bar poster. I am lucky to have so many little loves in my life! But...I make sure they know I love them everyday...not just on February 14th.

If only love could cure autism

For all of those who witnessed my meltdown at church yesterday...I am ok. I haven't really talked about it a lot but things with Ian have gotten a lot worse in the last few months. First at home, then at school and now at church. Having a child with autism is like having only half of a map. You know where you are and where you want to be but there are all these roads and avenues you can go down...you're just not sure which one is actually going to get you to your final destination. The information out there about the treatments for autism are overwhelming and conflicting. There is even a group who believes that we should not be trying to cure autism rather...we should accept autism for what it is. Either way, it is my role as a mother to one of these very special children to help him succeed and reach his full potential. It really is a difficult road with lots of potholes and dead ends. Sometimes the road is very lonely. Sometimes the road is very hostile. What I wish from everyone else is just a little patience and understanding. My child in not bad. And...I'm not a bad parent. We are dealing with our situation the best we know how!


Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:

1. I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily "autistic." My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.

As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don't think I "can do it," my natural response will be: Why try?

2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a "simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:

My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today's special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't filter all the input and I'm in overload!

My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they're mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can't sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.

Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There's glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can't even tell where my body is in space.

3. Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I am not able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%…" Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.

4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is "this will be easy for you to do." When you say "Jamie really burned up the track," I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me "Jamie ran very fast."

Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.

5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.

Or, there's a flip side to this: I may sound like a "little professor" or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called "echolalia." I don't necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your PDA or day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.

I won't lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my "level of representation" may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.

7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough and that I need "fixing." Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however "constructive," becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one "right" way to do most things.

8. Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I'm delighted to be included.

I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don't know how to "read" facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it's not that I think it's funny. It's that I don't know the proper response. Teach me to say "Are you OK?"

9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.

Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.

Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.

10. Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, "If he would just……" and "Why can't she….." You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you – I am worth it.

And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I'm not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

They may have had autism too.

The answer to Alzheimer's, the enigma of extraterrestrial life -- what future achievements from today's children with autism, children like me, lie ahead?

All that I might become won't happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we'll see just how far I can go.
Three-time ForeWord Book of the Year finalist Ellen Notbohm is author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew and three other award-winning books on autism. She is a columnist for Autism Asperger's Digest and Children's Voice and a contributor to numerous publications and websites around the world. For reprint permission, book excerpts or to explore Ellen's work, please visit http://www.ellennotbohm.com/

Embrace your inner dork

Sometimes I say things I think are cool or make sense but when I think about it later I want to hit my head against the wall because I feel like such an idiot. I don't know why random, idiotic things seem to jump out of my mouth all the time. They're not usually offensive things (although, I do that too, see previous post!) but just stupid, dorky things. Today as I was driving home from the store I thought of a really dumb thing I said yesterday. I was just about to beat myself up over it when I thought, "ya know what? oh well, so you're a dork! Embrace it!" The last couple of years have been very hard on me and on my self-esteem. But, I'm finally starting to feel better about me. Here are a few things I've learned:

* You can not MAKE people like you. Either they do or they don't. Not everyone will and that is ok.
* Pretending to be someone you're not (i.e. interests, appearances, hobbies) will not pay off. Eventually you will get tired trying to lead a life that's not really yours.
* Being single minded about friendships leaves you feeling lonely and feeling left out (at least this is true for me). If I'm always relying on the same group of friends for entertainment, I'm going to feel bad when I'm not invited which then leads to feelings of negative self worth. (why didn't they invite me? is it because I'm such a dork??)
* I'm learning to come out of my shell when it comes to initiating friendships. I am always scared to invite someone to lunch or out to dinner because I am afraid of rejection. But, I've realized...I am a good person. If someone doesn't want to have lunch with me, oh well. Their loss.
* Your self worth should not be based on how many lunch dates and girls night outs you're invited to.
* Your outer looks are nothing compared to your inner beauty. Or lack of inner beauty. Being loving and kind is far better than being a size six with gorgeous flowing hair.
* My family and friends love me for me! Messy house, stinky sweats, dorkiness and ALL!
* I am a daughter of God. Even if I feel that no one cares, he does. And I am worth something in his eyes. Not just something...everything!

Things are really starting to feel good. I am ok with me...something I haven't been able to say in a really long time. I am a dork. And...I'm ok with that! Dorks are really cool! If you know me, you know this is true! :)

(picture courtesy of Ian)

I'll just shut up now.

So, yes, I am a very opinionated person. I have all kinds of ideas about all kinds of issues, some of which I share, some of which I keep to myself. Sometimes for the sake of conversation, I will voice my opinion. Case in point. Yesterday I was thinking how badly the one-year-old I watch needs a haircut. I would never come out and say to his mom "it's time for a haircut" but I was sure thinking it. I have major issues about the way my daycare kids come to me. I mean, I don't think they need to be dressed to the T when coming to daycare but often I do have to take the children on errands or to appointments and people think these are my kids. You should have see the looks when I took the kids to walmart yesterday and two of my daycare kids were less than dressed for the weather (no coats, short sleeves and the baby had NO socks!) Owen and I were dressed warm with our coats and Owen had a hat. Oh and the baby's crazy, too long hair. And the time she brought the five-year-old in pajamas except they weren't pajamas I was told. I guess they were leggings for boys. I can't take them places like this unless I bring as sign that reads "They're not my kids People!!" So anyway, I mention that I'm taking Owen to get his haircut today and daycare mom says "ya, baby needs a haircut too. I just can't bring myself to do it." So I say, "that's funny, I was thinking that just yesterday. You can do it. I love it when my kids have just had haircuts. I think they look sharp" You should have seen the evil look she gave me. "well," she says "I don't like the way you BUZZ your boys hair. I think it looks stupid." All I could do was chuckle. I wasn't telling her to buzz his hair (which, technically I don't buzz my boys, I just like it on the short side!). I was just mentioning that I thought he needed a haircut too. Geesh...

I guess I'll just shut up now.

For Miss Jen

This one is for you!

We love and miss you!

My smarty pants kids (A shameless brag)

Last week was our semi-anual SEP's. Matthais's teacher shared with us his recent Iowa test scores. I was completely shocked and stunned to see that percentile was 99%. Do you know what that means??? He tested higher than 99% of the nations 5th graders. I knew he was smart but I would never put him in that range.WOW! He gets that from his dad. Although I was pretty bright when I was younger, having four children has wiped me of nearly every brain cell I have. Millie's teacher also had fabulous news for us. She has gone up 12 levels in reading and that was as high as they could test her.She has already met every second grade goal. Her teacher always has glowing things to say about Millie and told us how kind she is to everyone. We talked about the "friend" issues she's been experiencing and hopefully that won't be as much of a problem any more. Ian's report wasn't so fabulous but that is for a different post! On the down side, both teachers told us our children lack in confidence. That was kinda hard to hear since I hope to raise confident, strong children but, look at their mom. I have always stuggled with self esteem and confindence issues. Not a trait I'd hoped to have passed on...

Something fabulous I've been meaning to share

My friend emailed me FHE's for the entire year! They are all very cute and they follow the primary theme "My Eternal Family". If you would like your very own copy then leave your email address.

MTC

I had an interesting conversation once with a good friend of mine who has four little girls. At the time she was pregnant with her 5th and didn't know the gender. I asked her if she was anxious to have a boy and she replied that at one time, early in her married years she wanted a whole house full of boys; she wanted her own little Missionary Training Center. Well, as fate would have it, she had four girls. One day it occurred to her that even with a house full of girls she did have a MTC; she had a Mommy Training Center. I was very impressed with this. It feels exciting to know I am raising a future mother. At the same time, I feel as though this is one of my hardest responsibilities. How can I teach Millie to be a good mom when I feel like such a failure at it??? But,I am the best one to teach her.

Lately Millie has been very interested in everything I do. I've been crocheting around burp cloths and she watches intently and asks how it's done. Anytime I'm cooking she is right there asking to help. I get frustrated easily and prefer to do things myself because it's so much easier. It's been very hard but I've been letting her help.



She was so happy to help and even asked Matthais which pizza he liked better, hers
or mine.

I know that I need to teach her the basic skills to be a mother. I also need to teach her to be a nurturer, a leader, a teacher. I'm just worried I'm not cut out for it! I am not the most patient teacher and I tend to give up very easily. But, from now on I am going to think of my home as a MTC. Not only am I lucky to have 3 missionaries in training, I am also training a mother.

I just can't stand it anymore!

Alright, so I'm not done with the taxes. But, I'm really, really close. I've done a really good job fighting the urge to blog but I am now giving in. Adam, I will be ready with the taxes by time you get home! I am back!

Wow..1 full day with no blogs

She must not have them taxes done yet. Sorry folks. :)
Keep at it dear!

Another pic

Stole this one from my sister. It's my mom, her daughters and our daughters.

Fun Pics

I've been banned from blogging until I get all my reciepts in order for taxes (I hate being self employed, I'm not oraganized enough!) but I thought I'd share these cute pics of Millie and Tay fishing at Tible Fork with Adam







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14 Years ago today...

I was a blushing bride beginning the most incredible journey of my life. We were both babies but we were ready to take on the world! Never in a million years did I imagine us where we are today. We have moved 4 times, bought and sold a house, bought another house, had four amazing children, changed jobs, learned and grown, laughed and cried. We have had many trials but we have also had much joy. So in honor of our 14th anniversary I am going to tell you 14 reasons why I love Adam (of course there are many, many more!)

1. He lets me have a nap every Sunday, no questions asked.
2. He listens to me cry about all my girly emotional things.
3. He has given me four of the most amazing gifts a girl could get; Matthais Ian, Emilia and Owen.
4. He loves me even with 25 extra pounds. Heck he loved me with 45 extra pounds.
5. He lets me have my me time. Even if it's just a trip to walmart without kids.
6. He'll rub my back any time I ask.
7. He takes me out almost weekly. I think he enjoys spending time with me.
8. He puts up with my disorganized ways, even though it makes him insane.
9. He never complains about the house being a mess, but he's always quick to tell me when it looks nice.
10. He is fabulous dad who is not afraid to get on the ground and play with the kids.
11. He knows my deepest desires and my darkest fears.
12. He honors his priesthood and he has a strong testimony of the gospel.
13. He encourages me to have friends and to go out with them. He understands how I feel about my friends and listens when my feelings have been hurt. He always makes me feel better.
14. He loves me more today than yesterday.

Our Wedding announcment


Then...

And now...

And the absolute best thing that has come from our marriage...our forever family.

Thank you Adam, thank you for loving me despite my weaknesses. Thank your for making me feel important. Thankful for teaching me about the gospel. Thank you for giving me our children. Thank you for taking care of us. I love you forever and always. Three squeezes!

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Meet Bobo

Millie received Bobo for her first Christmas from her Aunt Sharilee. I was less than thrilled because I hate stuffed animals and she was my first girl and I wanted girly things. So, I put it in her crib and is sat while she slept.
As Millie grew, she became more attached. She would ask for her "bo" (bear) and that is how he was named. It got to the point where we couldn't go anywhere without him.
These pictures were taken when she was two. I had taken her to get her yearly photos and of course bobo tagged along. She wouldn't smile for anything and I'm so glad the photographer asked to include bobo. I treasure these pictures now.
Here is bobo today. His fur is worn from many years of much love. Millie still packs him around and will not sleep without him.
He's been to California, Fish lake, St. George, and Las Vegas (just to name a few), he's been to several show and tells, and he's survived a few sleepovers. He even survived a night light incident which had the possibility of disaster. He's been thrown up on, stepped on,stitched and repaired.
Poor bobo. He's getting the point where repairs are almost impossible. His fabric is wearing pretty thin. I'm to the point in which I do not know how to repair him anymore. He is looking old and dirty and quite ugly. But, none of that matters to Millie. She still loves him. He is truly her best friend.

"There is a rip and tear in my teddy bear, love pours from him everywhere"