Happenings at Millie's school

For the past two years my kids attended a school other than our neighborhood school. In fact, it was in another city. The school was a great school and had lots of great programs (the autistic unit, the A.L.L classroom) but it never really felt like our school. This year with Matthais moving on to Jr. High and Ian being moved to a different school I thought Millie would be better off at our neighborhood school. I am so happy I moved her! It just feels so much more comfortable, so much more like home. Last week they celebrated safety week with lots of fun activities.

The Jazz Bear came and was the crossing guard one morning.

They did a Bike rodeo. Here is Millie waiting her turn.
And they ended the week with our one, yes ONE fundraiser; a fun run. I can't tell you how excited I am to not be selling cookie dough or wrapping paper. I was more than happy to pay $15 to do a fun run. It was a mini-marathon; 2.62 miles instead of 26.2 miles and it was a lot of fun. The PTA did a great job organizing this and I am happy to report that they made more than enough money!

Me and my girl, ready to get our run on

Millie and her best friend

The girls would run for about 5 secs and the walk. They did this over and over.
I think they need to develop some endurance!

It was so nice to participate and be surrounded by so many familiar faces. It's nice to be home.

Ian's Parent Teacher conference

First off I have to tell you the craziest thing that happened at his P/T conference. I arrived at my scheduled time 4:20. The teacher was busy with another parent inside so I sat down on the chair outside the door. 5 or so minutes a lady came up and started talking to me. She asked my if my son was in this class etc. She pointed out her son and we talked a minute or two and then she started walking away down the hall. The teacher came out and looked right at me and said "thanks for waiting" unto which I replied "no problem." I had Kaili with me and she took off and ran down the hall and that other lady turned around, walked back to the classroom and  TOTALLY BUTTED! She went right in and sat down with the teacher. REALLY? I had a fidgety one-year-old and I was clearly there before her but I guess her time was so much more important than mine. Some people! Anyway, This conference was so nice. For once all I heard was positive about Ian. In fact the teacher gave me list of things and there were 8 positives compared to 2 negatives. Here is some of the things Ian's teacher has to say about him.

*Behaviors are often good. He is a delight to be around normally. He is pretty social with his peer tutors like him and want to be with him usually.. He also sometimes says to me on the playground "come on let's go slide" He wants to play and have friends. He also shows other signs of wanting friends. ( this actually broke my heart a little. I know he desperately wants friends)

*He plays well with animals and is able to name them often and will sometimes have a great imagination about what the animals do. He sounds just like a regular fifth grader at times (Yippee!)

*Does a great job of telling us about pictures when reading stories.

*He is a good kid (yes, he really is! Thank you for noticing and reinforcing the positive!)

Some of the things he needs to work on are the tantrums and screaming and taking turns but this is all stuff we are aware of and working on. I'm really happy with this school and with this teacher. She has said over and over what a delight he is. It feels good to know he is in a place where he is wanted!

Is it Friday yet???

Last night as I lay in bed exhausted I went over the past week in my head. It was definitely one of *those* weeks. Since I don't want to be known as the one who always complains, I did find things that were good too. So here is my week in review, the good, the bad and the ugly!

Sunday-

*Good- It's Sunday! Nice, relaxing, spiritually uplifting. I shared an experience where I exercised faith and I had several people tell me they were touched. I even had one person tell me they were going to pass on my name and number to someone who was experiencing a similar experience. Had a great nap!

*Bad- I ended up with a migraine.

*Ugly- When we went to leave for church our Tahoe wouldn't start...The starter was dead.

Monday-

*Good- We went to a neighborhood BBQ. The turnout wasn't fabulous but it was fun to sit and chat with our neighbors.

*Bad- I had to go solo so Adam could take apart the Tahoe and fix it. He was leaving to go out of town the next day so it had to be done that night so I had a car.

*Ugly- Ian was in his usual hyper mode and was calling everyone with gray hair "grandpa". He desperately wanted attention and was acting out to get it. He spilled his drink. He spilled others drinks. One little girl looked and me and said "there is something WRONG with Ian's brain". I left a little heartbroken. (and frustrated)

Tuesday-

*Good- I gathered enough courage to take the kids to the park. Not just any park but discovery park. I never take the kids there because it gives me too much anxiety but the kids love it and beg to go.

*Bad- Our Relief Society was having our Visiting Teaching conferences that night. I had signed up to go at 8:10 before I realized that Adam was going to be out of town and Matthais was going to be at scouts. I ended up staying at the church when I dropped Matthais off and left the kids outside. I left Ian in the van and of course he dumped my diet coke all over my front seat. (What is it with that kid and dumping things?) I drove home with a wet behind.

*Ugly- Discovery park was extremely crowded. They were having football games and every parking space was taken. There was a line of cars heading into the parking lot and a line heading out. If you've ever been there you know what I mean. There were parked cars on one side of me, cars in front and behind me trying to find a parking spot, cars on the other side of me trying to leave and of course parked cars on the other side of them. Not a good situation for me to be in. I felt trapped. I started having an anxiety attack. My kids were in the car and I was trying really hard not to freak out in front of them but I was. I finally rolled down my window and stuck my head out of it until I could find a place to turn around and escaped. I ended up parking on the busy road cause I was not heading back into the parking lot.

Wednesday-

*Good- Had a yummy breakfast with one of my Besties Suzanne. It was so good to just sit and chat with her. It was a great girls morning in.

* Bad- Last week one of our neighbors was broken into. Because of that, I didn't sleep at all Tuesday night because Adam was gone and I was scared. I don't function well on 8 hours of sleep let alone 4.

* Ugly- I got caught in a HUGE downpour on the freeway. I was very scared and hardly able to see. There were several wrecks and I pretty much sat parked on the freeway for 30 mins. I was about 15 mins late to Ian's appointment and the Dr. was pretty annoyed but I was just glad to have made it. I rushed home after to get Millie to dance (she was late!) and then headed home to get ready for book club but never made it there because it was 7:30 and the kids hadn't eaten and I hadn't been home. I had just told the psychologist that I was taking time for myself and even going to book club that night. Turns out, sometimes it's just too stressful to take time for myself.

Thursday-

*Good- Adam came home!!! We had a delicious dinner delivered and it couldn't have come at a better time (as you'll see below). I had a nice bath that night, alone, with no one pounding on the door. Did I mention, ADAM came HOME???

*Bad- I took Millie to a dance class to make-up for when she missed classes with her pinkie incident. The class I took her to is one step up from where she is dancing now but it is the class the director asked her to move up to right after summer. She is definitely able to catch up to these girls and she is every bit as good as them. The director was subbing for the teacher who had gotten in a car wreck. She is fabulous teacher and pushes the girls to get them to do their best. My ever-so-sensitive Millie was in tears when I got there to pick her up. She said she was sick (she was not). Colleen had been a little hard on her trying to get her to do something  the correct way and it was just too much for her. She cried hysterically the whole way home.

*Ugly- Just before I was walking out the door to take Millie to dance (around 5:30) Matthais comes up and tells us his room is flooded. That's right. Flooded. Don't know why or how but the basement flooded. Enough said.

Friday-

*Good- I drank my last diet coke yesterday

*Bad- I drank my last diet coke yesterday

*Ugly- I DRANK MY LAST DIET COKE YESTERDAY!

please pray for me!!!! ;)

I must be hormonal

Yesterday I was emotional and had a major pity-party. Today I cried over a Toys for Tots public announcement posted on facebook. Now I am sitting here completely sobbing. Why you ask? We are watching Blue's Clue's. Not the newer version with Joe or whatever his name is. Nope. We are watching a classic episode with Steve. 12 or so years ago I was a new mom. Matthais was my world. Everything I did revolved around him. When he was about 2 he discovered Blue's Clue's and he was immediatly entranced. He loved it. We watched every episode several times. I started recording them so we could watch it anytime he wanted. His 2nd  birthday was a Blue's Clue's party. He even had an outfit just like Steve's and is very own thinking chair! I will never forget the day he brought me a book and pointed to the picture and said "I want to skadoo to there!" (you'd have to be a blue's clue's fan to get that one!) I didn't mind watching so much Blue's Clue's. It made Matthais happy and since I was Ian was on his way/newborn/infant/took up lots of time, it was a good "babysitter". Besides, Steve was kinda cute and I had a crush on him! I miss those days. Life was so much easier back when I only had 2 kids. Not that I would change where I am now...I just miss the simpler days. Look, I even had time to scrapbook back then!

I hate how fast my kids are growing up. I hate how quickly time goes by. I hate how much I am missing out on because life is so busy. I had to laugh the other day as I listened to a mom of two tell me how unbelievably busy she is. I wanted to tell her, try having four!! And I'm sure when I complain to my best friend Jillynn she wants to tell me, try having six! I just want things to slow down a little so I can savor the moment. After all, I blinked and my cute little Blue's Clue's lover became this...

In a few short weeks he'll be a teenager! I don't think I'm ready to have a teenager! If only he would watch Blue's Clue's forever...

Do you ever just feel weighed down?

I mean, there is nothing MAJOR going on just the normal stresses of life but they feel so heavy? I'm feeling it right now. Between laundry, housework, kids, appointments, activities, meetings, bills...I just feel so weighed down. I have an appointment with Ian's psychologist this afternoon. I know one of the things she's going to ask me is what I've done for myself. She already told me date nights don't count so I'm not sure what I'm going to tell her. What have I done for myself? Sometimes, and I tried very hard to explain this to her, taking time for myself is more stressful than not taking time for myself. Know what I mean? Besides, I am just feeling this way today...tomorrow will be better! It doesn't help that Adam is out of town which means no sleep and no help and this is an unusually busy week. That's how it is for all of us though right? There is always something. Good news: Mid terms came in the mail today and Matthais has all A's. Shouldn't be a surprise but I am proud of him. Junior High is a lot different and he's really trying hard to stay on top of things. I hope he is developing great study habits that carry on into high school and beyond. Ya Matthais!

Well, it lasted a week..

But I signed back onto facebook this morning. I have given myself permission to check it a few times a day but I'm going to be strong and not veg in front of the computer like I used to. Facebook does have some good purposes. I found out from facebook that one of our neighbors houses was broken into. Also, it's the ONLY way my little brothers will communicate with me. I just can't let it be the great time-sucker that it was before. I think I had to know I wasn't going to die if I couldn't get on it. Now that I went a week without it I've realized that it doesn't have to consume me. Alright enough about facebook. Fall is in the air...can you feel it? Why is it that the older you get the faster time goes by? I'm approaching my 35th birthday. Wow. I remember when I thought 35 was old! (remember this post? 35 was old to me then!) I know it the big picture I'm really not that old but considering the fact that one of my best friends is a mere 26 I feel like pretty geriatric. And, I'm not where I wanted to be at 35. Mostly I just wanted to be skinny but also I wanted to feel in control of my life. Not quite there yet on either of those things... But I am working on both of them. One of these days it will all click for me right? Interesting things happen in my head. Now I just need to work on putting them into action. For now I will be grateful for the small changes I can make. After all, The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And for now, I'll take it...one step at a time.

To-do list

I am a list maker. Although, I'm not a very good one. I make a list for everything I think about; my day, meals, shopping, people I need to thank, etc.. Just cause I make a list doesn't mean I accomplish it all but it feels good to cross a few things of my list every now and again. Imagine my smile when I found this in Millie's room today...it's a to-do list. Just in case it's hard for you to read I will type it below

Eat Breakfast
Ask for Gloie
NO TV
Get dressed
Play with Courtnee
Clean room
Take a bath
Finish homework
Go to school
Shoes
practice words and read for 20 minutes
Brush Hair
Get hair done

Obviously the things she crossed off are the things she's already done. Some she forgot to cross off others are waiting for her to accomplish after school. I was really proud of her that she was thinking about the things she needed to do today and found a way to organize her thoughts about getting them done. I'm also proud to think that maybe she's a list maker...just like me!

Just what I needed to hear today!

"Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us—even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will. We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming."


--Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, "The Great Commandment", October 2007 General Conference

Day 2,"The Secret" and other ramblings

Day 2 of no facebook is proving to be harder than day one. I cannot believe how much of a habit I had formed checking facebook 20 + times a day. Already today I've walked down my stairs several times to check the computer. Sigh.

On another note...have you ever heard of "The Secret" or the law of attraction? Don't worry, I'm not going all New thought on you. Basically The Secret is that if you if you want something all you need to do is ask, believe, receive. It can be anything from a closer parking space to winning that trip to Rome; you just need to make it known to the universe, feel as though the action is on it's way, and be open to receiving it. Well, I seem to have an opposite law going on in my life. Maybe the law of un-attraction?? Remember last week when I posted this about  Ian using the toilet 90% of the time? I was hesitant to say that, to make it known to the universe and I had good reason to be. We have now regressed to about 50%. Why oh why when I think we've finally got a grip on things do they slip away?!?!? Can you see why I almost never write about the great things happening? All kidding aside I am completely frustrated with this change of events as is his teacher at school I'm sure. I sent him in a pull up today. All we can do is plug away right?

Speaking of toilet training, anyone know how long it takes to housebreak a puppy? I thought we had a good handle on that as well but just in the last few days we've had several accidents. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a parent or a dog owner. I mean how many living beings am I allowed to mess up??? Bigger Sigh.

My foot is still really bothering me. I'm really hesitant to go to the Dr. so he can refer me to a podiatrist so that he can send me to physical therapy so that I can do the same exercises I'm all ready doing thanks to the help from a physical therapist in my ward. There is part of me though that wonders if my self diagnosis is correct. I'm anxious to get moving again and to get this weight off. I'm doing ok with just diet but I am much more motivated when I am exercising. I also want to quit drinking diet coke. YIKES! That one is going to be hard. Good thing I'm not doing it right now cause if I quit drinking diet coke and facebook at the same time I'd really be a mess! I have several cans in the garage but once they are gone, I am done. Biggest Sigh. My few pleasures in life will soon be gone. But, I will be a better, stronger, healthier person because of it right? RIGHT????

p.s. Feedback is optional but greatly desired! Not having facebook has made me even more desperate for commentors on my blog so PLEASE, feel free to comment!

End to Facebook...

...for now. I just deactivated my account. Sister Beck's statement about mothers spending too much time on the computer and not nurturing their children really hit home. Friday I spent most of the day sitting in front of the computer. I think that I often get that way when I'm depressed... I have no focus, no motivation. I also know that when it comes to facebook it's not enough for me to just simply tell myself I won't get on or restrict myself. I have no self control. I had no choice but to deactivate it. Things will be a lot better because of it. Besides...They're worth it!

Millie's surgery

We got into the hand specialist first thing Tuesday morning and we had surgery scheduled for the next day. The surgery was a fairly simple procedure but it was something they needed to take care of. They were a little concerned that her finger was broken even though the x-rays looked good. Turns out it was not but there was just a flap of skin stuck under her nail that made her finger mimic a break. She had a deep laceration in her nail bed and they stitched it and the rest of her finger up. She was in good spirits and did a great job. The Dr. was 2 HOURS LATE and I was extremely annoyed. Who keeps a starving, bored 8 year old waiting for 2 HOURS?  I guess when you make the money that he does you get to hold all the strings. (ok, yes I would feel bad if there was some emergency that was holding him up...I just think they could have told me that so I wasn't so annoyed)

at the surgical center

before

after

I know it was nothing major and she was in and out of surgery but I think you always worry about your kids going under the knife. You just never know what side effects they might experience. Luckily Millie did amazing and even attended her first activity days activity later that afternoon! Now we have to leave the bandage on for 10 days then we'll head back to the Dr. for a final update.

Trip to the Zoo

On labor day, because we had nothing better to do, we headed to the zoo. My oh my! Since when does it cost a family $50 to be so crowded you hardly get to enjoy yourself? At least Ian didn't throw any tantrums. The zoo is much more manageable with the hubby in tow. Here are some of the highlights...

This gorilla was pretty interesting. It stood at the glass and stared at us. Ian was pretty impressed and was even talking about it the next day.

The line for seeing how you measure up to a gorilla was too long so we settled for the orangutan. Not quite the same.

Looks like we got a bunch of Prairie dogs!

Me and my cuties

Wonder what Owen is pointing at?

The traditional picture of drinking out of the lion's mouth

Zuri the baby elephant...pretty cute!

Feeling a little stressed

But I guess that's how it goes when you are a mom. I've had a lot on my mind and on my plate lately. The latest? Millie will be going in for surgery tomorrow. I know this surgery is not life threatening in any way but I always get uneasy when one of my babies goes under anesthesia. She will be fine. I will be fine. In the meantime I need to take care of all the logistics like babysitting for Owen and taking the day off and getting everyone to school. I also had to shuffle Dr. appointments and get prescriptions filled. Tomorrow is also Owen's first day of preschool. Hopefully I'll be able to drop him off. There are some good things happening at our house though! I haven't dared post about this in fear of jinxing myself but Ian is 90% potty trained! He still has the occasional pee accident but we have not had a poop accident in a very long time. This is fabulous news for us and we hope that it continues! He seems to be doing really well at his new school too! His behavior has improved as well although we still see breakthroughs in the screaming and tantrums. I'll take any improvement we get. I'm still trying to pull myself together and get my life organized again. I honestly feel like a chicken with my head cut off. I don't know which direction I am going in. Before the kids went back to school I had Adam give me a blessing. I was promised that I would be able to regain control (not in those words exactly) and I know I will. Baby steps. For now I'm going to pop open a diet coke and take 5 minutes for myself before everyone gets home.

Millie's Baptism

I'm so proud of my beautiful daughter and her choice to be baptized. She had been looking forward to this day for as long as I can remember. She looked so beautiful in her white dress.

We had a great turn out even though only half of the family showed up. I guess that's what happens when everyone starts getting older. They have their own life and their own things to do. We had to do a few last minute changes with the program but it turned out really nice. After we had a great lunch at our house.

Millie's Pinkie

Millie and Owen headed out for a bike ride Friday night and only after a few minutes Millie came back crying and bleeding. She had crashed into a fence and ripped her fingernail out of her finger. Adam told me not to take her in because there was nothing they could do about it. I ran her to a neighbor who is a nurse who confirmed so we just bandaged her up and called it good.

Turns out they were wrong. I took her to the Urgent Care today (for a sore throat) and he told me she needs to go into a hand specialist. Unless we don't care if she ever grows a nail again she needs to have the nail bed put back into the finger. Ugh. I knew I should have followed my motherly instincts that night and just taken her to the doctor. Now it will be a bigger deal than it would have originally and will probably cause her more pain. And...It may not even work.