The love of my life

I seriously have the most amazing husband! He came home to a messy house so I could leave and be gone all night AND brought me flowers for no reason! I do not deserve him...

Father's day

We met with the Harris side of the family at a park to celebrate father's day. David and Sharilee were both leaving Sunday and so we wanted to make sure we were able to celebrate with them. The park was windy but fun and pretty uneventful...until it was time to leave. Ian had been playing with my keys several times that night but I would take them away and put them in my purse. I was busy having some adult conversation with my sister-in-laws when the kids all came running up to tell me Ian was in the car. I thought, no big deal, it's not too hot and I won't let him stay in too long. I continued talking and several more people let me know he was in the car. I brushed them off thinking the same thing...I'll get him in a minute. It wasn't long before Millie came running over saying that Ian was in the car...and so were the keys! After 20 or so minutes of trying to coax him out I noticed that he was starting to sweat and he was red. The whole family had gathered around at this point and Ian was loving all the attention. There were several times he'd put his hand on the lock but he couldn't figure out how to pull it up. Adam was home playing soccer in the backyard with the boys but even if I could get a hold of him he didn't have the other set of keys; they were at Michelle's house in Orem and she was with us at the park! John Jay spotted a police car parked at a home nearby so he went over there. The officer was not home but his wife called dispatch for us. Another 20 or so minutes and the officer arrived and had him out in less than 5. Overall I think he was in there an hour or so and he was very hot and sweaty when he came out. Everyone kept commenting how calm I was but truth be told, even though I do things like this all the time I was a little stressed. We left and headed home but we were completely out of gas so I stopped to fill up. Wouldn't you know it? The security system that was triggered by the officer getting Ian out shut the car down. There I sat at the gas station pumps with a car that wouldn't start and no one to call for help. Luckily, after 20 mins and a quick prayer, the car started. Later when Adam asked me why I was so late it took everything I had not to cry. I just felt so overwhelmed...with stress, with gratitutude and with love. Despite these little challenges I am extremely blessed.

Strawberry Days Parade

Millie was able to participate in the parade again this year. I just love Hot shots! I was able to sit with a group of friends from my old ward and I had a really good time watching the parade. Owen was so funny, most of the kids were trying to get as much candy as they could...he just wanted every flyer! We came home with a whole stack! Millie was happy that her float was early enough in the parade that she got to watch the second half. She was really worried about missing out on the candy and other goodies. She ended up coming home with a Frisbee. Last year it was a stuffed bunny. I guess it pays to be cute!

Camp Maple Dell

We left the wedding luncheon and drove straight to Maple Dell for family night. I had been missing Matthais terribly and was so excited to see him. We had a pasta dinner and visited with the scouts and other families

Don't worry, he didn't miss us. He even said he kinda forgot he had a family. That's a good thing I think...it means he kept busy and had fun.
.

Sydney gets married!- The wedding lucheon

After the temple I rushed home to gather up my kids for the luncheon. Adam went back to work for an hour and then met us at the church. Corina catered a delicious lunch from Santa Monica Pizza and Pasta. It was so yummy. Syd and David were stuck at the temple taking pictures and were really late so we ate without them. Adam and I could only stay until 5:00 because we needed to head to Maple Dell for family night at scout camp. We were able to snap a picture of Adam and all his siblings (which I will need to get a copy of from someone). So much fun! I can't wait to get to know David better...I'm sure we'll love him as much as we love Sydney! Congratulations you two!

Sydney gets married!- The wedding

They did things a little backward and had the reception first. Friday we drove up to the Salt Lake Temple for the wedding. Such a beautiful experience. I bawled my eyes out. It reminded me so much of my own wedding and how happy I was that day and everyday with Adam. We tried to stick around to get pictures as they came out but Adam had to get back to work so I only took some of everyone as we waited.

David flew out from Texas and Scott and Sharilee drove out from California. It was the first time all the siblings were here in a long time.

Speaking of the temple, I had the most amazing experience when she took out her endowments. Several of Adam's brothers and sisters were able to attend and I became so emotional as they came into the celestial room. I love them so much and it was confirmed to me that day that they are my brothers and sisters as well. Sometimes you need a reminder how much you love those close to you.

Sydney get's married!- The reception

Our weekend started Thursday with my niece Sydney's reception. It's hard to believe she is old enough to be married. Every time I would tell someone on my side of the family that she was getting married they would all say "is she old enough?" Sadly yes. It makes me old but it makes her mom older! Here is Sydney 15+ years ago at my wedding reception (She's 2nd from the left on the front row)

And here am I at her wedding reception

Bad picture of me but isn't she beautiful?

The happy couple! Her new husband's name is David. We now have 5 David's in our family. My camera battery died during the reception so I only got a few pictures (so sad). Here are my cuties at the reception.

Ian doesn't look appropriate for a wedding because I had to help with the food and Adam couldn't come until later so my mom watched Ian for most of the reception. He came later and everyone was so happy to see him...we love that boy! What a fun night! My amazing sister-in-law and mother of the bride made all of the food and it was so yummy! I had several people ask me who catered it! The pavilion looked beautiful but nothing like the bride! We love sure love Syd!

Summertime...

and the living is easy. Well, not really. It's getting better though! Ian was really busy yesterday and I cleaned up mess after mess all day. His mood was decent but he just wouldn't stay out of things! I was beginning to doubt my abilities as a wife and mother and I felt like I was drowning. But, it got better...Ian started school yesterday! It gave me a few hours to breathe and semi-catch up from the disasters he caused. He had a pretty good first day at his new school. I got a call from the principal saying that he got off the bus and flopped onto the floor. She gave him a few minutes and then asked him if he wanted to go to class and he stood up, took her hand and went to class. Amazing what patience will do. His teacher sent a note home saying (and I quote!) "Great kid! Love having him. Cried a couple of times on floor and shoes off a couple times but nothing big. Put a puzzle together extremely well. We took a tour of the school. Thanks for sending him." Did you read that??? Great kid..shoes off but nothing big...Isn't it amazing what a little understanding produces? I know that this was just day one and Ian really varies from day to day but I am so excited about this new school and their willingness to work with Ian and his needs instead of forcing him to conform to some preset standard. Amazing. We have been in the special needs program since day one and I feel that, with the exception of a few years, the system has failed Ian. I am really hopeful that this new school is the answer we've been seeking.

When I fall asleep...

...my dreams are always the same. Well, not the exact same but they have the same message every time...I wonder what I'm trying to tell myself? My dreams are full of honesty. I can tell people exactly how I feel and they understand. I can tell people when they hurt me and we work it out instead of the real life version where I just live in sorrow. My dreams are full of passion. (not that kind, get your mind out of the gutter!) I am generally a very passionate person. I am passionate about my husband, my family and my friends. I rarely get the same emotion in return. In my dreams I am loved just as passionately. I love the way these dreams make me feel... important, special, needed, desired, loved...I never want to wake up. But I do...and the feelings go away...until I fall asleep tonight. Sweet dreams everyone, I know I'm having them!

Lessons from Sunbeams

Several months ago Matthais was trying to hurt Emilia by throwing a tennis ball really hard at her. His plan failed as it missed Emilia and hit Owen...right in the eye. He cried most of the night until he fell asleep and woke up several times crying throughout the night. I was really worried about him, mostly because he seemed really hurt.  He was ok the next day and had a slight bruise around his eye.

A few weeks ago Owen learned about eyes in Sunbeams. He colored this picture and proudly explained it to me..."This is when Matthais threw a tennis ball at my eye and turned it black". Matthais will never be able to live that down!

The living planet aquarium

On Friday I found myself in the rare situation of having no daycare kids. Times like this call for some much needed time out with the kiddos. Matthais was at his cousins so I loaded up Ian, Emilia and Owen and headed to the aquarium. I was a bit nervous about taking Ian out on an outing like this by myself. Last year we ventured out to the zoo and I felt like we were one of the exhibits. Ian threw so many fits and people literally stopped and stared at us. I left feeling frustrated and defeated...and last year his behavior was much better than it is now. Before the aquarium we stopped to see Adam at work and grabbed some lunch. Ian's first fit started in the Tahoe when I wouldn't let him bring his drink inside. Once we were in the aquarium he threw himself on the floor a few times but didn't have any major tantrums. That is, until I wouldn't let him put his shoes in with the stingrays. He started screaming and threw himself on the floor. It was pretty crowded so I dragged him to an open space and let him lay there. After he was done screaming I gave him my phone with the music playing and he spent the rest of the time with the phone glued to his ear like this...

The other kids had a lot of fun and really enjoyed seeing the different sea creatures.

Millie thought she wanted to touch the stingray but in the end she chickened out.

The penguins were pretty fun to watch

I can't remember what was in this exhibit. Owen just stood there smiling and said "take a picture of me" so I did. Overall I was happy with how our day turned out. It wasn't as stressful as I anticipated and I might even do it again!

A better day

A few weeks ago I got an email from Shannon asking if she could take Ian for me on Mondays. I feel bad having anyone else put up with his antics and so my first impulse was to tell her no. After our day on Friday I am so glad I didn't. She picked him up around 10:00 and kept him until almost 4:00. What a lifesaver! I was running on zero sleep again (why do I wake up so many times???) and I knew today would be no fun when he started the morning out screaming. I am really thankful for friends and family who are willing to help with Ian. I usually feel guilty the whole time he is gone but the day goes so much smoother. And, I think it's good for Ian since he has no social life of his own. I think it makes him feel special to get to go to Aunt Shannon's or Grandma's. He came home in a good mood and repeated "had fun" over and over so I'm assuming he had fun! Shannon is so good and patient with Ian. It's not easy chasing after him all day, I know, so I am extremely grateful for her taking the time to help me out. Thanks Shannon!

Bright spot

I know I've already whined and cried about my day. It sucked. (and it's still not over!) But, there was one bright spot...check these pictures out!

Ian has been close to riding his bike for awhile but really took off today! Now I just have to keep him out of our busy road!

I thought I was going to be ok this summer...

...but after spending the entire morning crying I'm not so sure...

It seems as though Ian is pushing every button this morning. The screaming has been never ending. We even had poop everywhere. He is deliberately naughty and tells me about it to get my reaction. The other kids aren't much better. Why is it that they wait until I'm completely exhausted and totally emotional to act this way??  If I hear one more mom talk about how much they love summer and how much they love having their kids home I AM GOING TO SCREAM! Or, just cry some more. I'm a failure.

How long until school starts again????

Graduation dinner

We had planned on taking Matthais out to dinner friday night to celebrate his graduation but Ian had his seizure and it changed our plans. We took him Wednesday night instead. He choose Texas Roadhouse and had his first taste of prime rib.