Look what I got

Just because. He's so sweet.

Summertime rain

There is just something about a good rainstorm in the summer. For one thing it's so nice to see something besides the blazing hot sun. It's just so warm and wet at the same time. We had gone fishing on Saturday but were chased home by the rain storm. By time we got home it was a complete downpour. The kids were ecstatic when we gave them the go ahead to play to their hearts content. Before we knew it, our storm drain out front was converted to a swimming pool by Owen and Ian who were laying down in the water. I don't think I've seen the kids have this much fun outside for a long time. Thank goodness for summer rain.

Take me out to the ball game (and I'll make someone cry)

It's kinda become a tradition of ours to spend July 24th at a Owlz game. For the last 3 years we've gone with our extended family and enjoyed a free game and fireworks. I'm really not a huge fan of baseball but it is pretty fun. We sit on the "berm" with our blankets and the kids have a ball hanging all over their uncle John Jay and chasing cousins. They have a playground just behind where we sit and of course that is where our kids prefer to be. Adam and I took turns watching Ian and Owen in the sea of kids. This was no easy task. Several times I lost one or the other. One of these times I turned my back on Ian who was content on the little playground "driving" to get Owen who was on the big playground trying to come down the rock climbing wall. When I get back to Ian I notice this lady who has Ian by the arm and is yelling at him "Where is your mom!?!? Where is your dad?!?!" "I'm right here" I reply "is there a problem?"

"Yes!" she says "he is being a bully! He won't let any of the other kids play with the steering wheel and I've told him several times to share and he's ignoring me!" I start shaking. I have a very hard time when other people discipline my children. If I'm not around and there is something worth disciplining for...go ahead. If I'm around...please bring it to my attention so that I can take care of it. NEVER, EVER place your hand on my child. So as calmly as I can I say "Well, it's not ok that he is being a bully but he has autism and he doesn't always have the best social skills. It's hard for him share and I don't think he was ignoring you. Sometimes things take a minute or two to register." Immediately she started crying. "I am so sorry...I am so sorry!" She grabs Ian and gives him a hug "I am so sorry!!!" I told her not to worry about it and that it really is not ok with me that he doesn't share. And I swiftly took him to sit with his dad in a time-out. I felt really bad. I try not to use Ian's disability as an excuse and I am trying very hard to teach him right from wrong. I try not to let him get away with things although I admit that I choose my battles with him. But sometimes I think it's important that people understand what they're dealing with is not just a horrible, bratty kid but someone who really does struggle with social settings and "playing nice". Yet I can't help but feel that a lot strangers and even my friends and family still look at Ian as a brat. It makes it hard for me that we are not invited to do things with some because they'd rather not deal with it. And then I feel like it reflects on me as a mom like maybe I just can't handle it. Which probably is true but can I decide for myself what I can and can't handle? I don't think people understand just how important it is to me to feel like Ian is loved and accepted. I was so thankful that this lady understood that maybe Ian really wasn't just a brat but a lovable kid who does have some great qualities and maybe he deserved a second chance. And some acceptance.

My friend Jen (the other Jen)

AKA Miss Jen came for a visit on Wednesday. Can I just tell you, We love her to pieces! She is the most amazing teacher and friend. We were blessed enough to have her teach Ian in his second year of preschool after an awful and frustrating first year. She was fabulous and radiated love for her students. Naturally, I enrolled Millie in her class the next two years. Millie loved her and to this day the kids (all of them, even Matthais who never had her as a teacher) talk about her. We were so sad to see her move to California last year but so happy to keep in touch and to have her come and visit.

I don't know how many times she has helped me. She was and is such a support to me and my family giving advice in the special education sector. She has been my shoulder to cry on, my crutch to lean on, and Ian's biggest cheerleader. Her greatest asset is the ability to love and to see the potential in everyone! She doesn't always feel great but you would never know because her enthusiasm is amazing! I am so thankful to call her one of my best friends. I hope she knows just how much we love and appreciate her.

Would you like some waffles to go with that?

I just went upstairs to Owen alternatly drinking from the syrup bottle and the honey bottle. "yum" he tells me. Any ideas on how to get half a bottle of syrup out of the carpet with out a carpet cleaner? Did I mention I just cleaned these carpets last week? Did I mention I still have a MAJOR headache? Where is my diet coke.

Two Sun filled days and a major headache

I went to bed at 7:00 last night. I climbed in thinking I'd just have a little nap to get rid of a nasty headache I had. I drifted in and out of sleep as I listened to Adam pounding the ground with a hammer (he was doing some asphalt repair). I got out of bed a few times but every time I did my head would begin to pound again. I was scheduled for a 6 miler but there was no way I was going. The aleve I took was doing nothing to control the explosion in my head. I finally surrendered and went to sleep. I think my body was just too water logged and sun soaked and the headache was the result of it's rebellion. Wednesday we spent the day at Seven Peaks. This is an annual tradition and lots of fun. For the kids. For me...not so much. I mean first I have to parade around in a swimsuit in front of all of my ridiculously skinny sisters-in-law and even a few of their husbands. Eek. And then I get to chase four kids and make sure that A) no one drowns, B) no one drowns some one else and C) no one drowns while trying to drown someone else. For some reason this year Ian was terrified of all of the slides even the small ones that you have to literally push yourself down. That was good for me since last year he got stuck on one of them and stood up and walked down. Ya, the life guard didn't like that one. This year the other kids wanted to play in this area and Ian had several meltdowns because of the slides and we ended up spending most of the day in the wave pool. Luckily I had some relief in the wave pool. I was so thankful for John Jay's help with Ian. There is no way I could have done it without his help. Thursday I decided to invite some friends over for a craft day with the kids. It was really fun and gave me a chance to visit and feel social. I've been really struggling with the whole "social" thing lately. I have a lot of great friends some of who I talk to almost everyday but for some psycho reason I've been feeling really left out and sad lately. I decided it's time to make my own happiness and not to depend on others to make it for me. I really do wear my emotions on my sleeve and little things can send me into a depression. So, it's up to me to not feel this way right? Anyway we had lots of fun making necklaces, hats and bookmarks. We decided to put the kids down for a quick nap and head to the PG pool. My kids were in heaven with two days of swimming but after a few hours at the pool I good feel the sun sucking the energy from my body. Owen was being very brave and I had to keep rescuing him from the deeper end. He'd walk until he couldn't touch and then he'd grab onto the side. I was hoping that just once he'd go under and realize it was much funner to stay by mom. Nope. The "have mom chase me to the deep end" game was much funner than playing where he could actually touch. I can't believe that summer is winding down. One month from today and the kiddos will be back in action at school. Sweet relief!

I added a few pics to some previous posts

Go check them out!

Moments by Riley

My cousin Riley is trying to get a photography business of the ground. I thought I'd give her a plug

http://www.momentsbyriley.blogspot.com

Whata weekend...

This was one of those weekends that made me lose myself in thought.

Friday my cousin April was married. I couldn't help but think of the last thirteen years of my life being spent with my best friend and husband. April and I are the same age and I guess I am lucky to have found my love early in my life. We were nineteen and crazy in love when we married. Nineteen. I look at my nieces at 18 and can't even imagine them married in the next year. What were we thinking? But, I can't complain. We survived growing up together and here we are 13 years and 4 kids later, still crazy in love.

Saturday we attended the temple to do sealings. It was kind of a crazy session but so peaceful and fulfilling at the same time. I couldn't help but think of families anxiously awaiting their names to be read and reuniting as they were sealed. Sadly, after leaving the temple on a spiritual high I received the news of my brothers mom's passing (my half brothers...we share a dad). I was in no way close to her and in actuality I kinda had to roll my eyes at lifestyle but she is the mother to my brothers. I was and am so hurt for them. I'm under the impression that maybe they weren't all on the best of terms at her passing. I can't imagine having to say goodbye to someone and not being able to say I'm sorry. Or, even I love you. That is why it is so important to say it everyday. It made me think of my grandma's passing 9 years ago. My cousin and her were in a tiff of some sort and not speaking to each other. I don't think my cousin ever really got over the fact that the last time see saw my grandma alive she was horrible to her. This life is so short there is no reason to treat those we love as horrible as we do sometimes. And, it's too short to hold a grudge. I personally am going to try harder to get over any ill feelings I might have toward the people in my life.

Welcome Kaylin Alexandra Loy!

I am an auntie again! I will spare you all the drama and just let you know she was born July 6 around 11:30 weighing in at 7lbs 5oz and 19 inches long. She has lots of brown hair and is so sweet and cute!

Happy fourth of July! A few days late

Our weekend was fun. We had a great time in Price and spent some time with my grandparents. We went to a parade, went swimming, saw fireworks and went to a dinosaur museum. Ian was difficult as usual. I'm really not sure what to do anymore. I am so overwhelmed and I'm starting to suspect that we are purposely not being invited places because of him. I think it was good for us to get away as a family because I was feeling really bad before we left for this very reason. Spending time with my family made me realize that in the end only one thing matter's and that is the fact that we are family. No matter what...he is my son. He is Hard! He is annoying! He is out of control but he is my son! We've been trying very hard to stress this with our kids lately trying to help them understand that sometimes it sucks to be part of this family but ya better get used to it because as buzz lightyear would say...to infinity and beyond! yep...we are stuck to each other forever!

My first ever and only first place run

Well, I did it! I placed first in my age division, third in the women's division and seventh over all in my recent half-marathon! I took 13 minutes off my last half-marathon time and finished in 2:07:44. It was a very interesting race. Beautiful, but interesting. For one thing...not a single potty the whole run. Another thing...no bibs. I wore my number proudly on my hand which was written with a permanant marker. Oh...and did I mention? Only seven runners. Yep. seven. Hence the seventh place victory! But I did it even though I almost ran the 10k to avoid the humiliation. But... I sucked it up and ran knowing very well I would finish dead last and several minutes after the closest competitor. The support truck drove down the canyon yards behind me and made me very intimidated but I think it was good for me mentally. I think it made me stronger. And hey, I shaved 13 minutes off my time. I think that is worth celebrating!

Blogging rut

I was shocked to get on the computer this morning and saw that I haven't blogged since last Thursday. This is my "journal" after all and there has been so much to share! Like my fight with the insurance company to replace a spilt bottle of seizure medication. And my horrible trip to the farm where I lost Ian with a raging river just feet away. There was also the break down of my van a mile from home with four kids in the 95 degree heat. How about the three inch slash on the bottom of Matthais's foot (done before the farm and the break down so he was MISERABLE on Friday)? Then there was Monday where I spent the majority of the day crying. These are all things that one day I might look back and laugh...but not if I don't remember them. I am so grateful for this outlet for preserving my personal history. I can't wait to look back on these days and smile.