Take me out to the ball game (and I'll make someone cry)

It's kinda become a tradition of ours to spend July 24th at a Owlz game. For the last 3 years we've gone with our extended family and enjoyed a free game and fireworks. I'm really not a huge fan of baseball but it is pretty fun. We sit on the "berm" with our blankets and the kids have a ball hanging all over their uncle John Jay and chasing cousins. They have a playground just behind where we sit and of course that is where our kids prefer to be. Adam and I took turns watching Ian and Owen in the sea of kids. This was no easy task. Several times I lost one or the other. One of these times I turned my back on Ian who was content on the little playground "driving" to get Owen who was on the big playground trying to come down the rock climbing wall. When I get back to Ian I notice this lady who has Ian by the arm and is yelling at him "Where is your mom!?!? Where is your dad?!?!" "I'm right here" I reply "is there a problem?"

"Yes!" she says "he is being a bully! He won't let any of the other kids play with the steering wheel and I've told him several times to share and he's ignoring me!" I start shaking. I have a very hard time when other people discipline my children. If I'm not around and there is something worth disciplining for...go ahead. If I'm around...please bring it to my attention so that I can take care of it. NEVER, EVER place your hand on my child. So as calmly as I can I say "Well, it's not ok that he is being a bully but he has autism and he doesn't always have the best social skills. It's hard for him share and I don't think he was ignoring you. Sometimes things take a minute or two to register." Immediately she started crying. "I am so sorry...I am so sorry!" She grabs Ian and gives him a hug "I am so sorry!!!" I told her not to worry about it and that it really is not ok with me that he doesn't share. And I swiftly took him to sit with his dad in a time-out. I felt really bad. I try not to use Ian's disability as an excuse and I am trying very hard to teach him right from wrong. I try not to let him get away with things although I admit that I choose my battles with him. But sometimes I think it's important that people understand what they're dealing with is not just a horrible, bratty kid but someone who really does struggle with social settings and "playing nice". Yet I can't help but feel that a lot strangers and even my friends and family still look at Ian as a brat. It makes it hard for me that we are not invited to do things with some because they'd rather not deal with it. And then I feel like it reflects on me as a mom like maybe I just can't handle it. Which probably is true but can I decide for myself what I can and can't handle? I don't think people understand just how important it is to me to feel like Ian is loved and accepted. I was so thankful that this lady understood that maybe Ian really wasn't just a brat but a lovable kid who does have some great qualities and maybe he deserved a second chance. And some acceptance.