Imminent Danger

So I received a package from the department of homeland security on Friday. I hesitated to open it, I mean, why would they be sending me a package? Turns out that it was an All hazards weather alert radio. They sent one of these babies to every school in the United States and since I run a daycare I am considered a school. Pretty interesting. So basically it alerts you to weather alerts, Amber alerts and other emergencies. Kinda like the T.V. and radio does when it makes that very annoying but attention getting beeping sound. Just what my already weather-fearing child needs. More alerts to the imminent danger. I can see it now. The next time the wind blows he'll be sitting next to it waiting for it to alert us to a tornado. I guess it's better than running up and down the stairs watching the t.v. for alerts and looking out the window for a funnel cloud. Maybe with the alert radio he can feel safe and finally get over his fear of weather.

If you build it they will come....

If you drove by our house on Thursday you probably saw the glow coming from our back yard. No, we weren't trying to land a helicopter; It was the first BYB with all the lights in action! In high school Adam and his friends would get together several nights a week to play soccer in the back yard of one of his friends house. They coined the get together "backyard brawl". Adam always dreamed of one day having his own yard for the BYB. In fact, that is why we bought the house on 3/4 acres. Adam listened to the voices and now the dream is complete with lights and stadium seating (our new and improved deck). All were lacking now is a PA system to announce GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL and the dead soccer players. Maybe they'll come next time.


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Daily socialization

I have a ton to do. A ton. Yet, here I am posting on my blog even though I don't really have much to say. I've already checked all my friends blogs (the ones that haven't blocked me yet) and no one has anything new. Except Shauna. I can always count on Shauna for a new daily post to keep me coming back. Heck, I'd come back even if she didn't post daily. I'm an addict. I'll probably sign off now and come back hoping and wishing someone has something new to say and that it's written just for me. Can you tell I'm really lacking socially? The good news is that I did socialize a little this morning when I ran with some girls in my ward. Did ya read that? RAN. It felt so good. It's been two weeks and I could feel it. I'm been on edge and grumpy not getting my daily fix. My back felt really good but we only did 2.5 miles. I have Dr. appointment tomorrow so hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things. I want to feel like myself again. I want to be back to normal.

One month into the school year

And I think my kids are adjusting to the new school pretty well. Ian, who is the only one that has attended this school before, is doing really well; all things considered. He always takes several months to transition each school year. This is the first year that he hasn't had any changes. He has the same school, same teacher, same bus driver, same friends, same schedule, etc. and I think he is really benefiting from the consistency. He still has his moments though. I just happened to be in the lunchroom Friday when his class came into the lunchroom sans Ian. Hmmm, I think to myself. He must be in trouble. So I walked to his classroom where I see him sitting at his desk crying. He was in time out. I opened the door and asked him if he needed to come home with me. "no! don't take me home!" "Alright," I told him,"listen to your teachers and be good." The rest of his day went fantastic. Sometimes I just need to give him a little threat. Good thing his teachers are so patient!



Matthais is learning really fast that maybe he's not the smartest kid in the world after all. After 5 years of leading his class in test scores and grades, he has to work hard to keep up. I think it's great! He's finally being challenged and he handling the challenge pretty well. He's made lots of friends and is really fitting in pretty well.





Poor Millie is the one I worry about the most. She absolutely adores her teacher who is as sweet as sugar. Her schoolwork is fabulous and she is eager to learn. She's just not making friends like I would like her too. She still plays alone at recess and doesn't talk to anyone at lunch. She's so shy that it's hard for her to initiate anything. I don't really know how to help her either. She recently earned a citizenship medal at school which is pretty cool. She'll be ok, won't she? I mean, she can't be friendless forever? I think more like me than I realize.

Well, it's decided

I cancelled my hotel room for Friday. I was in denial most of yesterday thinking that if I just got in to the chiropractor, physical therapist, SOMETHING that I would be OK for Saturday. I spent my whole morning on the phone in a panic arranging several different appointments. Last night Adam and I went to a movie and as I climbed the stairs to our seats with the stabbing pains in my lower back, I knew if was over. I couldn't even climb the stairs. Who was I kidding? There was no way I was gonna last 3 miles let alone 26. So, it's over. I spent a good deal crying and thinking how unfair it was. It's been a huge sacrifice for me and my family to train for this and I have to admit, I am not happy about giving up. I've even wondered if maybe I'm giving up too easily. But then I move and the pain zaps me back to reality. I think back to my last 20 mile run and how hard it was to run through the relatively mild back pain and knee pain I experienced. That was starting the run healthy with no pain. It's just not worth risking further damage. There will be other races and other marathons. I've proved to myself that I can do hard things and that I can push myself beyond what I thought I could. I can do it again. I am disappointed. More than you can know. But, that's what happens in life. Joy and Sorrow, pleasure and pain. It's just one more bump on the road of life. All I can do is keep driving.

Totally freaking out now

To say that I'm under a little stress would be a huge understatement. I am on the verge a full on break down. My back, although a little better, is still causing me grief. I can now function but I feel pain constantly and need to rest often. I just don't know how I can run 26 miles. At this point, I don't how I can run across the street. I am hoping to get a few physical therapy appointments in between now and Saturday and see if I can make any improvements. On top of this stress I've been thrust into the work world again. My cousin Lindsay had her baby Sunday and I am filling in for her during her maternity leave. My brain doesn't work like it did four kids ago and I am struggling to remember my few training sessions. It seriously took me over an hour yesterday to figure out one deposit. And I had three to do. And payroll to do. I am an idiot. This is on top of my daycare duties and motherly mandates. I couldn't sleep last night with all this on my mind. Finally at midnight I took some Tylenol p.m. and dozed off around 1:00 waking several times before morning. My back has to feel better. It just has too. I'm gonna go cry now.

I won! I won my first give away!

I checked Seriously so blessed on a whim yesterday (since I usually don't surf on Sundays. I've been bored I tell you, BORED!) and noticed she was going a give away. I have entered many of these and never won but my luck is changing now! I won, I won! Ok, so I won like that last thing I actually wanted or needed but I still one! I was one of like 1600 + comments. You can congratulate me now.







Yep, these are my winnings. Hmm, any ideas what to do with them? This company actually has a rocketship I've been eyeing for Matthais's room, I wonder if they'll do a trade!?!? If not, I'll find somewhere for them.

Flat on my back

I would laugh if I wasn't actually experiencing it. One week before I am suppose to run the race of my life, one I've been training for months, I hurt my back. How, you might ask? I don't even know. I woke up Friday to some slight back pain and by Friday night I was flat in bed. I was certain it was kidney infection because of the way it came on and because I felt exactly the way I usually did with kidney infections. But no, that would have been too easy. An antibiotic would have fixed that and I would be back to normal today. Instead I am still struggling to get out of bed. Today I defiantly feel much better but after about 30 minutes of light walking and work I need to climb back into bed. Can I tell you how much it sucks??? I guess it hasn't been a total loss, I have read three books. I read Princess Academy by Shannon Hale, Pillage by Obert Skye, The Prophet of Yonwood by Jeanne DuPrau. I also read several runner's world magazines which only made my anger intensify. I am mad. I am really mad. This marathon was going to be hard enough. Then you add in my bum knee. And now, my sore back. I will probably feel better by Saturday. I just think the pain be fresh enough to return. I will cross that finish line. It just might be in a stretcher.

Wednesday morning game of tag

Another fun tag to get to know me better. This one came from my friend Jen.

What is your favorite word? Hmmm, I don't know that I have a favorite word. I've never really thought about it. I use the word "fabulous" a lot. And "sunshine". All of my kids are "sunshine". I really like that word because I think it sparks so many of my senses. Sunshine is warm, bright, and inviting.

What is your least favorite word? Right now my least favorite word is "Shiz" and Adam says it all the time. I'm just waiting for one of the kids to pick it up.

What turns you off (creatively, spiritually, or emotionally)? Arrogant people. You know the type. The elitists who know everything and aren't afraid to let you know that you know nothing. The type of people who are always right and are so narrow minded that they aren't willing to accept others ideas as something valid. I am all for giving and receiving advise, for exploring new ideas and thoughts, even for some polite debates. Just don't call me to repentance because I don't agree with you. Love me or leave me.

What turns you on (creatively, spiritually, or emotionally)? I would have to say those who have the ability to inspire. Unlike the people I mentioned above, they inspire you with their ideas, give me something to think about and invite change or growth in a loving, warm-hearted way. And love me if I still don't agree.

What sound or noise do you hate? I have to go with Jen on this one. Popping joints. Ok, not popping joints so much as popping knuckles. EW! Please don't do that!

What's your favorite curse word? I say "crap" all the time. It's probably not the best thing to say but I think it beats "shiz"

What professions, other than your own, would you like to attempt? I've always wanted to be a special ed teacher. Even Before I had Ian I knew this is what I wanted to do. There is always a shortage of teachers willing to teach these precious little ones. I think one day I'll go back to school and do it.

What professions would you not like to do? Where should I start? There are a lot of jobs out there that I am thankful people are willing to do even if I don't get why they'd do them. Have you ever seen the show "Dirty jobs"? Enough said.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Well, since God and heaven do exist I would have to say more than anything I can't wait for him to take me in his arms and hold me. He wouldn't have to say anything because I'd already know.

Since I'm not really sure who's even reading my blog anymore I'll tag everyone that reads this. If you want to do it, go for it! I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Millie learns to ride a bike and other strange happenings

I bought Millie a bike without training wheels last year and she has tried to learn to ride it off and on since then. All of her little friends can ride a two wheeler and I figured she could too if she could get over her fear. I told her at the beginning of the summer that I wanted her to learn to ride before the summer was over. Quite frankly, I'm tired of driving her to every play date. Well, summer is just about gone and so I decided yesterday was the day. I told her to find her knee pads and get her helmet and she immediately started crying. "I'm too scared! I can't do it" I told her she could do anything if she was brave enough. She climbed on her bike reluctantly and still cried. She took off and I knew immediately she would be able to do it. She had no confidence and so it took her a minute but low and behold, she did it! She was so proud of herself as was I! I don't think she thought she could do it! And yes, we need sidewalks. I almost got my kids killed making this little video.

On another note, today is crazy hair day! I had so much fun making Millie's hair! Matthais said she looked like a "who". Matthais insisted on a pink mohawk even though I knew I could do something crazier. He's get too old to just trust his mom. He wants to be in control. oh well, what can you do.

food for thought

A few days ago my friend Becky posted about her "night of shame". ( you can read about it here! ) I've been thinking about this a lot since her "night of shame" is pretty much my life. My eating habits are horrible and at times shameful. Anybody that really knows me knows that I don't eat veggies. Nope. Not happening. No matter how many times I try to gag those puppies down, it just doesn't convert me. My friends all laugh when I order something minus the greens and they make sure the waiter/waitress knows "no veggies, absolutely none!" Ok, so I don't hold off on the fries but I don't really think that counts. So what is it about me? Really, I've tried things. My gag reflex is such that I can't ever get past the first bite without threatening to hurl. Is it all in my mind? There is an article in this months Shape magazine about Brooke Shields. She says "I was a vegetarian for 15 years until I got pregnant. I just needed to east meat. I believe you really have to listen to your body." If this is true, if your body really tells you what you need, why is mine telling me I only need diet coke and french fries with the occasional dove chocolate or lindt truffle? I can do the whole grain thing for awhile. I can make good health choices for awhile. I can drink water instead of diet coke for awhile. I can even eat 5 servings of FRUIT a day for awhile. I just can't do veggies. And, I can't make any permanent commitments. Maybe that is why I'm training for a marathon and still overweight.

It's breakfast time and I'm hungry. Maybe I should go whip me up a green smoothie. HHHHMMMM... maybe not. I think my body says it wants some waffles. And a diet coke to wash it down. I'll try the green smoothie tomorrow!

Shut up already!

Ugh! Can I tell you how much I hate going to my kids soccer games? I love watching my kids play soccer but I hate all the parents! I kid you not, I got three phone calls BEGGING for one of us to coach Matthais's team. They couldn't find anyone willing to coach. That is totally AMAZING to me since there were 5 dads yelling so loudly the boys couldn't hear their real coach! Seriously, if you want to yell at the boys and tell them what to do, volunteer to be the coach! If not, just sit down, shut up and let the coach do her thing. I think next time I'll sit on the other side of the field.

Crap!

I waited too long to book a motel for the marathon. Looks like I might be sleeping in the van. Hmmmm....what to do, what to do.....

The great and grand blogosphere!

I shouldn't admit it but I spent more than an hour lurking on blogs yesterday. It was so fun to see all the connections and people I could find just by checking out a few friends blogs. For instance; a few days ago I found Holly from my friend Kris's blog. While Holly wasn't really my friend in high school, she was friends with my SIL Jayne and I knew who she was. So, while reading he blog, I noticed that here sister Misty has a blog. Once again, I don't really know Misty but I remember her from school. So I'm checking out her "friends since HS or before" and I see Gunnar! Growing up my mom and Gunnar's mom Tammy were great friends and we did a lot of things together. Although Tammy didn't have any kids my age, I would babysit hers once in awhile. So of course I had to see what Gunnar was up to! I hadn't seen him since he left on his mission. While on his site I found a link to his brother Cabe's. See what a small world the blogosphere really is?

I've been tagged

Wow! I've been bestowed the Kreativ Blogger Award by my fabulous friend Shauna. The vote was unanimous and I feel honored! While I'm pretty sure my blog isn't actually very creative, at least now I have something to blog about! So in accordance with the rules, instead my my usual negative tone, you get to hear 6 things that make me happy!

Number 1- I am happy to run.I love a good run. I even love a bad run. I love to run in the hail and wind and I love to run hills and I even love to run 20 miles with sloshy shoes! Ok so now I'm lying. Running makes me happy but I'm not that insane.

Number2- I am happy when I get a phone call from a friend. I admit it. I'm a phone junkie. I love to hear the phone ring and to see that it is one of my friends. I can and will talk for hours. A phone call always makes my day.

Number 3- I am happy when my kids actually get along. Millie and Matthais are always at each others throats and so when I see them playing together I am filled with great joy. I want them to know that these family relationships that we are forging go well beyond our time on earth and I want them to truly be happy together.

Number 4- I am happy when I hear the garage door open. That sounds means Adam is home. I love to hear the kids get excited and say "daddy's home! daddy's home". And I love to see my sweetie greet them. He is so gentle and loving with them even if he's had a bad day. I love to see the smile on his face when our eyes meet. Not to mention the perks of finally having some back up! "I'm so glad when daddy comes home, as glad as I can be!"

Number5- I am happy when I get a nap. I love a good nap. I crave a good nap. Ahhh, nothing like climbing into my warm bed and doing nothing.

Number 6- I am so happy when I enter the temple. It's the kind of happiness that fills your soul. The kind of happiness that only few in the world can really know. The joy I get serving in the temple is like none other

Becky, Jen and Rachel, Now it's your turn! Here are the rules: Please tell 6 things that make you happy and pass this to 3 friends and have them do the same. Spread the Happiness! And I promise not to feel bad if you don't!

Attitude adjustment

Last night Matthais was giving me grief during scriptures. I skipped him to let Millie read the shorter verse since she is still learning to read and it would go much faster. Of course by doing this I only solidified in his mind the fact that I like her better than him. It's an ongoing argument. Needless to say I wasn't in the mood and so we skipped him for the rest of the scriptures as well. Afterwards he stomped up to her bathroom (his was empty) and "used" it for a really long time knowing that she was waiting to get in and brush her teeth. I was upset with his attitude and let him know that it better change by morning.

This morning it was Millie. She shut my bedroom door on Owen who was on my bed watching t.v. Now, I know he can open doors and he wasn't upset that she shut the door but I wanted it open. I asked her to go open it and she immediately started arguing that if Owen didn't care why did I? (she's only 6 but can reason pretty well sometimes) She ended up slamming her door and pouting in her room. After I had called her down for breakfast 3 times she finally responded with a very loud "FINE!" Once again I started in on her about attitude and how hers had better change.

I've been thinking about it all morning and wondering if maybe it's actually my attitude that needs to change. I am still in summer hangover. This summer was so stressful I am still feeling the effects. I have a really bad attitude with my kids and I think it is wearing off on them. Some of the things I hear coming out of my mouth makes me embarrassed. I can't believe I say it. I always promised that I would never use the guilt inducing tactics my mom used but here I am just as bad if not worse. I'm giving them things to worry about that children should not even be thinking of. I am not being a good mom. I need an attitude adjustment and I need it now.

Potty training on the brain

After a summer of ups and downs Owen is pretty much pottytrained. He has been for awhile but we do still have the occasional accident. I have to ask him a few times a day if he's "wet or dry". Today when I got home from running I was dripping wet. Owen immediatly wanted me to pick him up. "Owen, I can't pick you up I'm all wet" I tell him. "oh, you wet?" he asks "you pee?" almost Owen, but not this time.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds,"

Just like a postman, we delivered today! Micheale and I ran our final 20 miler today. And despite the rain, wind, sleet and even hail, we finished the whole run. I'll be honest, when it started hailing 19 miles felt really good; good enough even. Micheale wouldn't hear of it. She was determined to run the full 20 and even though I was on the verge of tears (the hail really hurt on my already freezing cold arms), we pushed on. She really is the best person to run with. She is so upbeat and positive and motivating. And she also lets me walk and stop when I need to. It feels fabulous to know that is my final long run before my marathon. I have one 12 miler and one 8 miler and boy do they seem like a cake walk after today. As we were running Micheale kept saying "this is funny, we'll laugh about this" I'm not laughing yet. I still can't feel my fingertips. Maybe I'll laugh tomorrow.