I realize it's been awhile...

Sometimes I feel like blogging, sometimes I don't. I've been up to my eyeballs with daycare drama, puking kids and issues at Ian's school. Then I had to gather enough energy to enjoy endure spring break. It really wasn't that bad after all but it had it's moments. We snuck away from the gloom and rain of Utah county for the sun and sand in St. George. More about that later. Today I wanted to share a video with you. It's 10 minutes long but it's worth the watch. If you watch it you will never think of autism the same...


I've been thinking a lot about autism and our journey and how 8 years later how little we really know. We watched some home videos of Ian taken 3 1/2 years ago and I all I could do was cry. He was so different then, in a good way though. His thoughts were clear, he could hold a conversation,  and I didn't see any of the repetitiveness we see right now. That was defiantly a better time in our lives. Only, when we were in it I didn't see it as so great. I've always believed that Ian has so much in his brain than we realize and so much more than he is able to access. Sometimes I see the information he has come and go. It's almost like a TV with bad reception. Sometimes you can access the show you want to watch and sometimes it's too scrambled to get a clear picture.

I love this video of Carly. For a long time I have believed that Ian really can't help some of the things he does especially when it comes to trying to drown out all of the sensory input he receives. I love how she says "I know what is right and wrong but it's like I have a fight with my brain over it". So many times, so many more than I can even begin to count, I've had unsolicited advice regarding Ian. So many times I reply that I choose my battles. Yes I choose my battles even when he's stripping down. Yes, I choose my battles even when he is screaming at the top of his lungs. I have no idea what is going on in his brain and in his body. Sometimes he does this stuff for attention. Sometimes he does this stuff out of shear desperation. I can't imagine what it's like to live in his body but I'm so thankful for Carly and her chance to share what it might be like for him!