Changes

Sometimes deciding to change is not enough. It takes effort. I don't know how many times I've started and stopped trying to lose weight. It's been a life long struggle. Two times I lost 50lbs and swore I would never go back. One time I got pregnant and had a baby and it all came back. The next time I just gave up and it all came back. You see, for me, losing weight and maintaining my weight is a 24/7 project. I can't let my guard down for even a minute. Sometimes it's simply exhausting and I just give up. For naturally skinny people this may sound absurd. I know the hubs thinks so at times. I have to think about every tiny thing that goes into my mouth and every single movement I make. I have to battle myself to stop after the second piece of pizza. I have to will myself to only have a bite of dessert. I have to force myself to workout. None of this is second nature to me. Ice cream after dinner? Not for this girl. Candy bar at the checkout counter? Off limits. One trip through the drive through leads to another and another and then pretty soon the pounds start packing on. It's really hard being addicted to something that your body NEEDS! I'm not like a smoker or a drinker that can simply quit consuming my addiction. Nope. I'm a food addict that still needs food to survive; it really is a huge battle. It's a battle I'm tired of trying to win yet I do over and over because I know how important it is. Once again the battle begins for me. This time I am striving for progress, not perfection. I am striving for health, not beauty and this time I am doing it for me because I want this.

Day 1- 38lbs to go