Ephraim's Child(ren)

Last night Adam asked me if I ever wondered why Owen is so much more difficult than our other children at his age. I had to think about it for a sec because although Ian was difficult at two, it was very different because with Ian there was also the developmental delays. The other two were very typical two-year olds. "Personality" was all I could reply to him. Truth is, Owen has been very difficult from day one. He was stubborn soon after birth, refusing to breath correctly even with no obvious reasons why he couldn't. He wouldn't sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time for the first 3 months. He's never wanted to wear clothes or shoes...the list could go on and on. On Sunday I bribed him with a piece of gum to sit on my lap. Not wanting him to have a whole piece, I broke it in half and the crying began. "YOU BROKE IT!! YOU BROKE IT!" I carried him out of the chapel, the whole time he was hitting me in the face and crying that I had broke his gum. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. While in the foyer an older woman from my ward kindly said "they sure are coming to the earth more stubborn and strong willed these days! It's a good trait if we can guide their spirits in the right direction." It got me thinking about a term I'd heard earlier when I was struggling with Ian; Ephraim's child. Here is an excerpt from the book titled Parenting the Ephraim's child by Deborah Talmadge and Jaime Theler :

You Might Have an Ephraim's Child If:

Upcoming family vacations involving eating out, amusement parks, condos with balconies, plane rides, or car rides give you nightmares.
Silence is a foreshadowing of disaster.
Your child doesn't cry, he wails.
Taking your child to a movie is more of a workout than going to the gym.
You are already exhausted by the end of breakfast.
You are afraid to program your phone's memory dial because you know your child will call grandma at 5:30 a.m. when he bounds out of bed.
Your list of instructions to your child takes five minutes. For example: do not hit your brother, or punch him, or kick him, or push him, or head-butt him, or tackle him, do not get off your bed, take off the blankets, throw pillows, toys, or books into your brother's crib, do not climb on the dresser, pull the clothes out of the drawers, jump on the bed, yell, kick the wall, open the blinds, or take all your clothes off.
Your child's whole world crashes because you cut her waffle into bite-size pieces and she wanted it whole.
During your child's 30 minute TV show he has managed to climb all over every piece of furniture in the room multiple times.
Others look at you, shake their heads and say, "You are in for it."
You receive parenting books for Christmas.

If you find many of these things a big part of your life you probably have an Ephraim's Child. If you still are unsure, here are some questions:

1. Is your child on the go all day?
2. Is it possible (not that he does it often) for your child to sit for long periods of time when doing something he is interested in?
3. Does/did your child have difficulty going to sleep? From infancy did your child sleep very little, i.e. take very short naps, or have difficulty sleeping through the night?
4. Is your child emotional, with no moderate moods? Does your child's intensity seem to build through the day?
5. Does your child remember things for long periods of time?
6. Does your child have areas where his ability to learn is astounding?
7. Is your child's imagination constantly at work? Does he have a never-ending stream of ideas and projects?
8. Does you child have difficulty with not getting his way? Does telling him "no" bring on abnormal crises or long negotiations?
9. Is your child bossy? Do you have to remind him that you are the parent?
10. Does your child have difficulty transitioning from one activity to another?
11. Do others surprisingly have little or no difficulty with your child?

While on any given day ANY child could posses many of these characteristics, I find that Owen and even Ian posses them every day. It's funny because Owen reminds me of Ian only without the intellectual delays. It really does get frustrating at times. I question my parenting skills, I question my housekeeping skills, I question my ability to cope. Maybe, just maybe, it's not me after all!?!?! I mean...I have two other quite well behaved children. Maybe It's time to admit that I have two highly-determined and high spirited children. Maybe It's time I start looking at these as positive characteristics!

"Like those of the tribe of Ephraim, an Ephraim's Child has great determination, energy, and a headstrong will. Ephraim's Children are also often high maintenance, emotional, controlling, and aggravating. What other sources don't tell you is that these children are a special and covenant people. As Hyrum G. Smith declared, "today is the day of Ephraim. These are the children of the final days when strength of character will be so crucial."

So today, instead of being frustrated that all I do is follow Owen and Ian around, cleaning up their next mess and listening to their never-ending meltdowns, I'm going to be thankful that I have such a strong willed children here on earth to help usher in the Savior. I will be thankful that my children "can be valiant in building the kingdom of God because of their characteristics, not despite them." Today I will be thankful my children have great determination. Even if it means that Owen will spend that day naked. Again.