Easing my way out of denial

I got up and did my run this morning. I didn't want to but I did. I've been putting my runs off until the pm and more days than not I can find a reason not to go. And the reason always seems more important than the looming 26.2 miles I have coming in less than 4 months. I've pretty much been in denial concerning this marathon. I thought long and hard about why this morning. It's not that I think I'm going to wake up the morning of October 3rd and run this baby without preparation. I know I can't. I just haven't felt the urgency to get going. The last 6 months or so of my life has brought along a few life changing experiences. Some that literally knocked me off my feet. I feel like I am still recovering, trying to learn to live this "new" life. And for some reason, running marathons felt like part of that old life. It doesn't have to be that way and I desperately want running to be part of who I am. I love it. I really do love to run! The truth is I've felt for awhile that taking care of myself has not been a priority but rather an after thought. Maybe that is why I've packed on 30+ pounds in less than a year. I know as mom's we tend to look at everyone else's needs before our own but it's been really hard for me to realize I DESERVE to be healthy and happy. Yes, I deserve it. Sometimes it takes something like signing up for a marathon even though you have know desire to do the training to really knock yourself out of your line of thinking. I'm committed to running this marathon which means I'm committed to training and I'm committed to taking care of myself so that it doesn't kill me. 16 weeks until the big day. No more "training for training", No more putting off runs or workouts. No more telling myself I don't have the time. Denial is over. Training has begun!