Do you ever get to the point that you want to throw you hand up in the air and say ENOUGH ALREADY! Or maybe you fall to your knees and say Heavenly Father...it's been enough already...
I got to this point today. 3 hours of crying later....Here is what is going on in my life.
My mom and dad (who are have been divorced from each other for 32 years) are both going through divorces. My step-sister is also going through a divorce finally after being separated for 3+ years. This is good thing for sure but the fact that her soon-to-be ex kidnapped her son 3months ago is not. Since there is no established custody there is nothing she can do. Two of my brothers are unemployed. One of them is expecting a new baby and will soon be out of a home. My sister continues to struggle with serious health issues and she is dealing with discovering she has a stepson that she didn't know about and all the joys and problems of being a step mom. I worry about them all so much. It's hard for me not to. Adam is famous for saying "is there something you can do about it? No? Then why worry about it." I wish it was that simple for me. Then there are the issues with Ian, I'm still fighting him each morning, listening to ear piercing screams, cleaning poop out of carpet and off of walls, listening to the other kids scream each time he pulls there hair and dealing with the other myriad of things that come with Ian and autism. I'm physically exhausted every night and am finding very little time to train for the impending marathon. Oh yes... The marathon. WHAT was I thinking? I get physically ill every time I think about that day. I am not ready. I am not even close to being ready. I will press on however because I've done enough torturous runs to not let them go to waste. This is just a sample of the things I'm dealing with right now as some are too personal to post here...
I know that I use this forum to complain a lot....A LOT! I'm beginning to think that is why I don't have many friends. Maybe I'm too much of a downer. I really want to be happy. I really want to be a fun person with lots to offer this world but...how? How do people with trials (and we all have them) continue to go on and be happy? I feel like I can go days and days and put on this perfect smile until the dam finally breaks...like today...
Maybe I don't have enough faith? love? patience? Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough for the good? counting every blessing? All I know is that I'm really tired and I've had enough....
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Enough?!?!?
Posted by Unknown at 3:40 PM
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7 people not afraid to say something:
Oh man. I'm sorry you're going through SO SO SO much right now! I feel for ya.
I'm there right now, too, with having had enough. I have thrown my hands in the air many a time lately, mostly figuratively but sometimes literally.
I don't know how people do it. I guess one day at a time. And sometimes it is ten minutes at a time...or even 1 minute at a time.
I'm not going to tell you to hang in there or it will all work out or any other cliche, because while people mean them in the nicest of ways...they just don't help!
I will tell you that Heavenly Father is aware and mindful of you and that He loves you. Like you said, we can fall to our knees and confide in Him and He can give us peace...
:-)
That's a lot of crap going on and a lot to worry about. Even though our trials may be different (or perhaps quite the same), we all have them and we all break. I don't think what you're feeling is any different than what the rest of us feel.... you are just brave and put it out there! From the looks of it I think you have lots of great friends. Some you're closer to than others, but that's how life is. If we judged our success and such by how many close friends we have or by big, huge accomplishments that the world will see we miss out on the little things that actually matter the most. Hang in there Angi! You are doing great things! You really are. Love ya! (Sorry I rambled on.)
sorry if I sounded cliche!
I think you need Zupas :). Let's go next week.
You are and always have been one of the women I admire most in this world. I love you, Angi!
Angi,
I wish I had something great to say, but I'm sorry is all that comes to mind. I'm sorry that you and your family are having such a rough time.
Remember: Thine afflictions are but a small moment. Endure well! I often forget this when I'm in the thick of adversity, but sometimes it helps to stand back and evaluate it like it's all just a silly test and suddenly inspirations comes and I know what's required to get an A.
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