Tonight I had a little visit with my dad. I stopped to drop something off and so we talked. We talked about all kinds of things but not once did my dad bring up the big D. That's kinda how my dad is though. Our relationship is really complicated. I'm sure he'd talk to me about it if I asked but I didn't. I have a lot of questions for him but that'll be for another time. Tonight we talked about Ian and life in general. We talked about how quickly life goes by. He told me before I know it I'll be 51 and wondering where the last 10 years of my life has gone. I told him I already feel that way at 33. We talked about regrets and waking up feeling like we're letting life pass us by. I wondered about what he regrets...having me at 17? Missing out on my younger years? Selling me this house for dirt cheap? I don't know if he'd ever tell me...besides, some things are better left unsaid. My dad and I have missed out on so much of each others lives. It's really sad when I really think about it. But in the end...he is my dad...And...we love each other even though it's hard for us to say. I really enjoyed talking to him. Maybe this is a new beginning for us. Life is too short to not share it with the ones we love.
1 people not afraid to say something:
Angi, I'm so glad. It's never too late to build. I remember when that song came out, "My Father Gave Me a Name." I just cried when I listened to the lyrics.
I think we all end up with regrets. I regret being such a mean, grumpy mom to Giana and Alia for so long. I've relaxed A LOT.
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