On this day, God wants you to know...

That is the name of an application on facebook. You click on it to get your message from God. I've never actually done it for myself but some of my friends have. I'm not really sure but to me it seems like it would be like reading your horoscope or a fortune cookie...you can always find a way to make it apply to your life. No, I don't need facebook to tell me what God wants me to know. Today he told me himself.

Today started out bad and went to worse really quickly. After finding my bottle of Mary Kay moisturizer dumped all over the bathroom and the bottle floating in the toilet, I lost it. I can't even begin to list all the things Ian has lost or destroyed in the last month. I was mad...just not at Ian. I told Heavenly Father that I had had it. I told him I was tired of him not listening to my prayers. I told him I was done praying. I told him that if he really loved me he would lift my burden. I told him if really loved me he would send me a friend. I even told him that if he really loved me he would help me find my cell phone. I poured my heart out and told him all the reasons I felt abandoned. And I cried. I called Adam who helped me pull myself together and carried on with my day still feeling heavy.

I had plans to meet some friends for lunch and I considered cancelling. I knew I was going to be no fun to be with today but I decided to continue with my plans hoping it would cheer me up. Little did I know Heavenly Father would speak to me through them. Lunch was great and they listened to me. They just listened. Never once did they try to out-do me with their problems or made me feel like my trials were trivial. They listened. I heard Heavenly Father whisper...I have sent you a friend. My amazingly talented friend gave me a Christmas present while we were there. It was a photo she had taken of a pair of hands holding a baby bird with the scripture Matthew 10:29-31 written under it. I wasn't sure what it meant but felt honored that she would give me something that she made herself. Then I read the scripture.
"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows."
I had to fight back the tears. I heard Heavenly Father whisper...I do know you, and you are important to me.

After lunch I headed to meet Ian's new teacher. I was running late and anxious to get to the school. As I was driving a truck didn't see me and took off from his stop sign and literally stopped a foot from my driver side door. We both drove off and I instantly said a prayer of gratitude. I heard Heavenly Father whisper...I am looking out for you.

Later tonight I was making dinner and Ian getting upset. He couldn't tell me what was bothering him but I could tell that something was not right. Before I knew it he was acting very strange and started throwing up. Great, I thought. Just what I need...sick kids. Adam walked in the door and I had him take Ian upstairs while I cleaned up the mess. When I came up I could tell something wasn't right. I knew he was going to have a seizure. Millie had dance and I knew he was in good hands so I brought Adam the phone and Ian's emergency seizure medication and left. When I came home, Ian was on the floor, seizing, Adam and administered the Versed and just waiting for the seizure to stop. We were both devastated. Ian was doing so good. He hadn't had a seizure since April and he was making progress. All of a sudden my lost cell phone and the destroyed household items didn't matter anymore. I knew God was sending me a message.

God does notice me. He is watching over me. He does love me. I am grateful for the people he has chosen to surround me with. I am grateful for the challenges of raising one of God's special children. I am grateful for his daily protection. God does nothing by chance but always by design as a loving father. On this day, I now know...