Shouldn't be doing this...

Posting on my blog that is. Not with the dreaded taxes staring me down and my the hub begging me to get them done. The most painful part of being self employed. I hate it. But, it's such a dreary day the thought of sitting at the table crunching numbers sounded anything but appealing so I am sitting on the computer typing. I don't really have anything new or exciting to report. I'm still in a perpetual bad mood, feeling sorry for myself on a daily basis and truly trying to find the good in each day. There are defiantly bright spots in my life. I'm hoping the will soon overshadow the gloom I tend to find around every corner. I know it's just me. I haven't been looking for the good. I know that it's the choice I have made. Yesterday was especially this way. Sundays have a way of making me feel especially sorry for myself. Yesterday there was a lots of talk of ward families and love and service and friendship and I sat listening feeling more bitter by the minute. I know I was not feeling the spirit and so I desperately tried to change it. I looked around the room and each sister in Relief Society and thought a nice thing about each of them. Even if I didn't know them I tried to find something nice I'd heard or something about their appearance. It helped and I was feeling better towards the end. I don't know why I get this way sometimes.

I'm happy to report the scale is moving. You'll have to check out my other blog for all the details. I am happy to share I just want to know who has access to it. Just ask. Part of me is a little scared  that when I lose the weight I won't have that as an excuse for why I don't have friends. I'm scared to find out that it's actually my personality the don't like and not just how I look. Oh well, it'll be worth it. If nothing else for my health.

Sorry, like I said, it's a gloomy day and I'm feeling, well, gloomy. Spring really couldn't come soon enough! I'm ready for sun, vitamin D and the kids playing outside! My house is ready too! I should really tell you about the disgusting mess I found this past weekend. I'm almost embarrassed to post it cause my kids are just so gross and I'm afraid that might reflect on me but I probably will. If for nothing else then to be able to show it to Owen when he's older.

Which reminds me...I have not blurbed my last years blog! I need to get busy on that! That's why I do this anyway right? Not for anyone but myself. I have to keep telling myself that...