Fondue anyone?

Yesterday we had some major meltdowns. Unfortunately, I'm not talking about the ooey-gooey cheesy kind. Despite waking up with a giant cold sore, yesterday started out great. I had an awesome workout at aerobics; something I haven't had since the first of March when I started babysitting Devin. I felt so good! I came home, got lots of work done and just had a mellow, rewarding day. And then Ian came home from school. Let me set this all up for you. Ian had gone on a field trip yesterday. It was kid's fish day and it's organized for kids with disabilities. Everyone that goes fishes and brings home a gutted fish ready for the grill. I sent Adam with them because I thought it would be a great bonding experience and because Ian loves to fish with his daddy. Ok, so Ian come home and I'm in my room. All of a sudden I hear this " Boohoo, boohoo, I WANT A FISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" And then it all starts, "I WANT A FISH! I WANT A FISH! WAAA, WAAA, WAAA!" I go outside and ask Adam, "what happened? Ian doesn't have a fish?" Well, turns out, Ian and Adam didn't catch any fish on their own and Adam wasn't concerned about making sure Ian came home with a fish. Apparently Ian was ok with this too until it was time to get on the bus and everyone had a fish but him. Thus, the meltdown begins. Well, I finally get him calmed and tell him we'll go to Walmart and buy a fish. That works until we get loaded in the van to go and I remember he has speech. UGH! So I drive him to Paige's for speech and the meltdown continues but I leave because she has a way with him and I figure she can calm him. I return 1/2 hour later and I hear screaming coming from her house...the meltdown has continued. He had cried the whole time and Paige told him no prize so he was now crying about that. Paige looks at me with pity and tells me to give him a prize so it's easier for me. NOPE! He has to learn somehow! So I drag him out kicking, screaming and hitting. We are now past the fish and now is crying about the prize. I get him home and lock him in his room. Fast forward 1 hour...he's finally calmed down enough that I decide to venture to walmart. After all, I did promise a fish. He's doing great, being very patient while we wait for someone in pets to help us. We get the fish and head over to the food section to get a few things. Of course, on the way to produce we pass the candy. "mom, I want a treat." "ok Ian, maybe in a minute. Let's get some lettuce." "mom, I want a treat." "just a minute Ian, let's get some waffles" "MOM, I want a treat" "MOM, I WANT A TREAT NOW!" WAAAAAAA! here we go again. I'm in the cereal isle and he is screaming. I am ignoring him but not the stares. We move on and I notice that I now have every eye in the dairy section on me. I kid you not. They had all stopped what they were doing to stare at me. You'd have to have been there to really appreciate it but I wanted to die. Of course, I'm smiling as big as I can, trying to hide the fact that I am desperate for a xanax. I calmingly take him by the hand and explain that he is not getting a treat and that he needs to stop crying now or go to the van. I'm thinking about this threat that I just made. How am I going to follow through? Do I leave the cart sitting here including the fish that I just waited 30 min to get? Do I send Matthais outside with him? Do I not follow through? Luckily I walked away from him and he stopped crying. We checked out and went home. As I was buckling him into his seat I notice the veins popping from his head. I bet if I had looked in the mirror, I would have seen mine too. We get home and it's my turn. My meltdown began. Honestly, I don't know what to do in situations like these. I promise you, everyone has an opinion on what I should or should not be doing. That is why everyone was staring. The truth is, no one really understands. I am so tired of unsolicited advice when it comes to Ian. I promise you, you do not understand. Now this isn't a poor-me-pity-party. Just a little look into my life, maybe a little explanation of why I am the way I am. So next time you see me and Ian at Walmart, McDonald's, at the park, etc. and he's screaming like there is no tomorrow...do me a favor and cut me some slack. I'm not a bad parent. He is not a bad kid. We are doing our best with what we've been given. After all, we believe that when life gives you meltdowns, make fondue!