I know this should go on my training site but since I barely have time to post here I've kinda abandoned my training site. I just thought I'd let my running friends know how to have the worst run in their life...just in case they're wondering.
First, you need to drive over 100 miles to go camping. Stay two nights and get as little sleep as possible. It won't be very hard since you will freeze and you'll most likely have a toddler kicking you all night. And besides...it's camping. Also make sure the cold you've been fighting turns worse due to lack of sleep and heat. Next make sure you don't wear sunscreen and get a great sunburn. Eat as much junk as possible and don't drink any water...just diet coke and fresca because hey, your camping. Drive the 100 miles home and eat more junk on the way home. When you get home eat lunch around 2:00 but don't eat anything else before your run. Start your run later than planned and make sure it's around 95 degrees outside. Bring your water and sports drink and make sure your sports drink is one that you've never tried before and tastes like pickle juice and makes you gag every time you drink it. Run your familiar beautiful route and get envious of all the beautiful houses and well groomed yards. Make sure you gel early and then realize you only brought one and you have 3 hrs left to run with nothing to keep you going. Make sure you run through the sprinklers so your shoes are nice and soggy. When you get to mile 14 you can break down and cry and wonder how on earth you are going to finish this run. Just make sure that when you get to the point that you can continue on a mile and go home or turn and run 3 more miles you turn. Stumble and fight your way one more mile, in the dark, crying until you finally call your husband to come and get you at 10:40 p.m. But hey, it's victory! 16.29 miles. That's .29 miles more than last time. Try to humble yourself as your husband picks your sorry, cramping butt up and drives you home 1.71 miles short of your training run. Cry again as you climb into the tub and count 12 blisters and realize you get to run 20 miles next week. Yes... GET to run. Rejoice in the fact that you will soon be a marathoner.
If you live that long.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
How to have the run from heck
Posted by Unknown at 5:57 PM
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3 people not afraid to say something:
i can't even fathom what drives you to do this. i weeded the yard today and wanted to cry... i am so proud of you!!! btw, did you know briti had a baby girl? i'll be making a visit to her soon. email me your phone # and i'll try to stop by and see you! depends on my timing... kids are back in school and i have to be home by 3:30.
I can relate-I almost stopped by your house a couple of weeks ago when I made myself sick running in 95 degree heat!!(HR 164 walking) I should be at the top of my game right now but have totally peetered off. If you need a buddy for the 20 LMK (maybe that will motivate me?) You are amazing!!
Wow, what a run! This will make your 20 miler and the marathon look like a piece of cake! You're doing so great, don't get discouraged. Just think that it can't get much worse than that. What kind of drink did you get? Accelerade? What flavor? Pickle juice flavor doesn't sound good at all!
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