Last night we had a little get together up the canyon with some of Adam's siblings. We were discussing our plans for today (the girls going to dinner and Bunco). Ian has a Dr. Appointment in SLC and I told them the soonest I could be there was 6:00. I didn't think I was being unreasonable because we usually don't start Bunco until 6:30 or 7:00. Well, they decided to start at 5:30. I can't even begin to explain how badly that hurt. Immediately the tears started to roll. In fact...they are still flowing. In their defense, their mom wanted to start early (5:00) so she could get home to be to the temple the next morning. I know they were just trying to find common ground but I really felt like I was purposely being excluded. In reality, there was so much building up, leading to this point that made the tears flow. This was merely the trigger. I feel SO alone. To clarify, I know that I am surrounded by loving, caring people that would do anything for me in a heartbeat. What I really, really need? A good friend. One who wants to listen to me. One who wants to be with me. Most of the time I find that my friendships are very one-sided. I generally get more attached to people then they do to me. Ever heard the saying "don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option"? I feel like every one's option. Oh well. Somehow I need to pull it all together to show up at Bunco tonight not totally sobbing. I've been thinking all morning that maybe I should just skip it all together even though I could really, really use a night out.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
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2 people not afraid to say something:
I totally know how you feel! It's the story of my life. I hope you have a good day and I will be thinking of ya! Tell all the Harris' hi! :D
Angi, the other day I sat with another mom at the pool and we laughed at how so many people have hundreds of FaceBook friends, but no real friends. I had to take a step back and this past week when one of my closest friends got married and I didn't get an invitation. It was a crude awakening that I must not be as important to them as they are to me. But there is a terrific quote by Mother Teresa that states, it never was between you and them. It's between you and God. Neil has to work late tonight. If you want to play after bunco, I would love to listen and spend time with you.
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