Drama with the bus and other reasons I should cancel my facebook account

Normally I pick the kids up from school. We have some neighbors who attend the same school as the kids (my kids attend a school other than their neighborhood school). My lovely friend Becky drives the kids to school and I pick the kids up. Early on in the year I noticed that the bus was leaving, with Ian on it around 3:25. By time the other kids got out of school (3:30) and into the car (3:40) and we drive home (3:45) we were missing Ian being dropped off or we were cutting it really close so I started picking him up as well. Becky is kind enough to do double duty on Thursday and picks the kids up so I let Ian ride the bus on those days. This past Thursday slipped away from me and I had an enrichment activity so when I looked at the clock at 3:20 I decided I'd better jump in the shower before Ian came home. As I was getting out and drying off I thought I heard Ian's bus. I looked at the clock, it was 3:28, school wasn't even out so it couldn't be Ian. But, I got to the window and check...it WAS Ian! I threw on my robe still dripping wet to go and grab him. A little frustrating but no big deal. Friday...Becky calls and says she's running errands so she'll just grab the kids. Once again...Ian rides the bus home. I'm sitting at the computer working on Christmas cards when I hear the bus at 3:28 and Owen yelling that Ian is here. Good thing I didn't run to the copy store like I had planned! In my mind, School gets out at 3:30 so I should have at least until then to be home. Well, apparently not! Out of frustration I posted on facebook "Tell me how it's possible that Ian's bus shows up at 3:28 when school doesn't even end until 3:30???" I got a few responses but My brother-in-law (who happens to teach in an autistic unit at another school) responded "That's a definite no-no...Your drivers know that they aren't allowed to leave, or even load, before the bell rings. You ought to make a call." Well, I hadn't even thought about calling and I wasn't REALLY upset it was just one of those things I posted out frustration just like many people do on facebook. What if I hadn't been home yet, what if I had gone to pick him up at my normal 3:25? The bus would have already left and then what? But I am friends with his teacher on facebook and I should have never said anything about it on facebook. Just like the whole "coughing" episode of two weeks ago, I opened my big mouth and created drama.

I love facebook. I talk to people (especially family) that I normally don't talk to but once a year. I found out my cousin was pregnant the day she anounced rather than waiting who knows how long until I visited my grandparents so they could tell me. I keep track of my college age brothers who think their big sister is tragically unhip. I can get instant answers to my questions and lots of support when I'm frustrated. But, one of the biggest problems with facebook (and really anything in which you "type" instead of "talk") is that things can be taken out of context and you never hear the tone of voice. On Friday my mom posted something about my niece being the most beautiful girl in the world. I don't disagree. My niece is gorgeous. Joking around and being sarcastic I typed back "I won't show Millie this". First of all...Millie is not on facebook and I would never show her that. However, Matthais, being the torturous big brother he is, might. Millie doesn't understand that when grandmas says Kelsey is the most beautiful girl in the world that she doesn't really think that Kelsey is more pretty than her. I never should have said anything because I really hit some nerves and my little brother let me have it calling me "petty" and telling me that "you and mellissa would be better off if you got over the "who does grandma loves more kick"!!!!!!!!!".
Wow. That was all I could think. Wow. One little comment that you think is funny can turn into this. Turns out I hurt my mom's feelings by saying that too. That was never my intention and so of course I was terribly upset.

I don't think I'm completely ready to give up facebook because I believe that I receive more positive that not. But, a few lessons learned... Be careful what you say, you never know how someone is going to take you comments no matter how innocent you think they are and somethings you should work out in a more private venue.

The parable of the 10 virgins

Last night I attended a production of The parable of the ten virgins put on by my amazingly talented ward. In the Parable of the Ten Virgins the story is told by Jesus of a group of virgins given the honor of attending a wedding. Each of the ten virgins is carrying a lamp as they await the coming of the bridegroom. Five of the virgins are wise and bring an extra jar of oil for their lamps. Five are foolish and take no extra oil with them. The bridegroom is late in coming and the foolish virgins are out of oil and ask the wise ones for spare oil, but they refuse, saying that they might then not have enough. The foolish virgins are away buying more oil when the bridegroom arrives. The wise virgins are there to welcome him and the foolish ones arrive too late and are not invited to the wedding feast. In the muscial performance of this parable each virgin was given a name and we learn a little insight into their personalitly. We learn what makes them "wise" or "foolish" and learn about other virtues they posess. I could relate to all of the "foolish" virgins especially Adi who was held back by her own insecurities and Eliana who is busy taking care of everyone else. I've given a lot of thought to the things that hold me back spiritually. Why is it that I can make time for everyone but the Lord? Why is it that I'm always worrying about what others think of me instead of seeing myself the way he sees me? What is it that I need to do to keep my lamp burning? I've been so negative and ornery lately. I think that it is due in a large part to my spiritual lamp being dim. I am grateful the spirit who whispered to me last night, letting me know that I could be happy, truley happy if I would only committ to following the Lord. I pray that we may all find the true reason of the season and more fully commit to following our Lord and Savior this Christmas and to keep our lamps full of oil.

Thanksgiving 2009

Nutcracker 2009

Millie was a Bon bon this year. Only, this year she was the bon bon leader! She takes her dancing pretty seriously and is already looking forward to the day she can try out for Clara! Sorry about the quality of the pictures. My camera is acting up...

My special boy

Yesterday I exploded because the school called me to come get Ian because he was coughing. I was extremely mad and upset because I didn't know that coughing at school was against school policy and I felt like they just didn't want to deal with him because they were short handed. I felt like the whole incident was mishandled but regardless, I said things I shouldn't have. And now, I feel horrible and remorseful. When it comes to Ian I am overly protective. I don't feel like he is give a fair shot most of the time. Kids pick on him and adults don't want to deal with him. Sunday I was standing with him waiting for his primary teacher to come in when a few of his classmates came in. One of them turned to the other and said " I dare you to sit by Ian!" The other responded "I double dog dare YOU to sit by Ian!" I was crushed. These are the kids he will grow up with. These are the kids that will be the ones "looking out" for him. I know he is a difficult child. My messy house and grey hair will attest to it. But he is a child none the less and a very special child at that. What an honor it is to associate with one of God's chosen ones! I know I feel honored to be his mother! I know that kids don't have the maturity to understand and I don't fault them for not wanting to befriend Ian. He is strange and slobbery and he's not always nice. But adults are a different story. I know his teachers love him and that they are looking out for him and his classmates and so I shouldn't have gotten so upset yesterday. I'm stressed and worried about his upcoming school change and I think I let that play into my emotions yesterday. And, yes, I have a little mama bear in me. I just wish I didn't have to worry so much about him and how he's being treated. He can't speak for himself so I have to! I wish everyone could love him just as much as I do! I wish everyone could feel how I feel when he calls me "mommy" or says "lub you". Maybe then they could quit looking at him as annoying or strange and see him as the special child he is.

Here is what's going on at the Harris house...

1. Adam had surgery on his ankle friday. They had to completely replace the ligaments with cadaver tissue. We kinda thought he'd be back to work today, only on crutches. Little did we know he'd actually have to stay in bed for fives days. I'm not cut out to be a single mom of five kids.

2. Ian is in the process of changing schools. He won't actually change until January but we are doing IEP's and getting everything ready. I am going to work on potty training him again over this next break. It would be so nice to send him to the new school potty trained. I'm nervous, scared, and anxious about this whole move but it'll be for the good. right???

3. We are in the middle of Nutcracker season. It's such a fun time for Millie! She is a Bon bon again but she has the "lead" bon bon part. She's excited! There is lots of practices and four performances coming but she loves it so much!

4. The holiday season has begun. I am happy to report that I am 90% done with my Christmas shopping. I would like to have it all done before Thanksgiving but with Adam out of order, I doubt that will actually happen.

5. I got new pictures of the kids taken. I've very unhappy with them but bought them anyway...why do I do that? Next time I'm calling Janelle...Stay tuned and I'll post the best ones.

Well, that is about it I guess! Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving!

It's your turn

At first glance this paper looks like Millie is practicing how to spell mom. I thought it was curious that she would practice this word since it's such an easy word to spell. Turns out this is a chart to keep track of whose turn it is to turn the tv on when Ian turns it off...M is for Millie...O is for Owen. The things you have to do when you have a brother like Ian.