Ian's latest disaster...

and no, it's not just broken off the hinges...it's broken in two. Deep breath....

My birthday: The day after

It really suprised me to discover that even at 33 you feel special when you're remembered on your birthday. My sister made my day but I had lot's of phone calls and visits. Shauna brought over a darling jack-o-lantern with a stash of chocolate, Jillyn brought me a cute little sign, my sis and each brought me flowers and a Becky brought me the yummiest cupcake from dippidee. I celebrated my going to SEP's (YIPEE!) and then over to the new Olive Garden for some delish eats with my honey. I went to bed with a smile on me face. 33 isn't so bad so far!

Getting back to normal

Well, as normal as normal can be right now. I'm feeling much better after my near mental breakdown this week. I've realized how much pressure I put on myself and how I take on more than I can handle. I've delegated, or rather, gotten some help for some of my work responsibilities,I've sought out babysitters for Owen while I work, I've pushed back a daycare inspection, my house is still clean thanks to my dear sister and I've realized that I need to stop internalizing every little event that happens each day. I am not supermom. I am human. I make mistakes. I get frustrated. I get tired. I get angry. And...it's ok. My kids aren't perfect either. They make messes. They fight. They cry. They whine. And...it's ok too. I loved Pres. Monson's talk about enjoying the journey. I know that I've hurried my life on so many times that I've missed out on things. It's time to start walking a little slower, talking a lot less and listening more. It's time to enjoy these crazy days and my crazy life because before I know it, it will be gone.

The best birthday present EVER!

This is my sis. I love her. We have been through everything together. Of all my siblings she is my only natural sibling; we have the same mom and the same dad. So...we relate on all sorts of levels that my other siblings and I do not. We just get each other. My sister a very giving person and I don't give her enough credit. Today she gave me the best gift anyone could have given; her time. I have been feeling completely overwhelmed and have even been feeling quite "panicky". You know, your heart starts racing, you can't breathe, the walls are closing in on you...

Well, last night I called to complain to my sister. She gets this a lot. I complain a lot. She's used to listening to me whine and complain about my crazy life. We're at different stages. She has two kids, 13 (almost) and 10. So, we have different kinds of craziness. We laugh at each others hectic lives and she tells me what I have to look forward to and I remind her of what she's already been through.

The best thing about talking to my sister is the fact that she actually listens to me. Instead of her trying to "out do" my stress with hers (she has plenty to be stressed about, even more than me) she just listens. I am guitly of not listening enough and trying to "out do" who ever I'm talking to at the moment. I think we are all guilty of this at one time or another. But, my sister listens. When I told her all I wanted for my birthday was a clean house, she didn't go on and on about what a mess her house was and how hard her life was and how she doesn't have time either... She just showed up. Yep, she showed up. My sister, who can't afford to take time off of work did. My sister, who is working 10-12 hours a day and barely has any time to clean her own house cleaned mine. This was no easy task. She doesn't live down the street or in the next town even but on the opposite side of the county. She had to arrange to take a long lunch and will work late into the night to catch up. She has health problems and doesn't always feel great but she came here and worked her butt off just to help me.

It's pretty wonderful to have sister like this. One who knows you well enough to know that when you say you're on the edge you mean it. And...does something to help. It was a huge, HUGE relief to have my house taken care of today. I really think it helped pull be back from the edge. My house is clean. Now, if I could just do something about these invoices...

Happy Birthday to my little brother Gehrhart!!

He was the best birthday present I ever got, and a day early too! Isn't he a hottie?? I stole these pictures from his facebook.

Another day...

Well, I ended up crashing at 11:00 with only half my list accomplished. What is it about being a mom that makes you so dang tired. I fought with Owen to go to bed for over an hour before he finally crashed on the dining room floor amid cracker crumbs. It was 10:00. Before he crashed and while I was distracted, he emptied my kitchen drawers giving me a few more things to do. It never ends does it? Today I have to get caught up. Adam and Matthais will be home around 1:30 and I really don't want the house to look like a bomb went off in it. I forgot what is was like to have a two year old in the house! I don't remember Millie being as busy either. Owen never stops. If I turn my back I have a new disaster. I have to laugh when Adam aks why I "let" him get into this or that. Yes, I to let him color all over the wall. I let he dump a whole bottle of lotion on the carpet. I let him unroll a new roll of toilet paper and drag it around the house. I mean, if I didn't, what would I do all day!

My neck is tense, my head hurts...

I have 10 piles of invoices that need to be put in order on the table, I have a stack of statements that need to be matched to invoices so they can be paid, I have a sink full of dishes that need to be washed, sour rags that need to be thrown in the washer, garbage that needs to be taken out, floors that need to be swept and floors that need to be vacuumed, clothes on my bed that need to be folded, a tub that needs to be scrubbed so that I can SOAK and three kids that need my TLC. And that is just the start. To say that I'm feeling a little stressed is an understatement. Matthais and Adam are gone for the night. Am I too old to pull an all-nighter to catch up? My diet coke is decaffeinated. Maybe I'll go get the hard stuff and go for it. Or, maybe I'll just put the little ones to bed and do NOTHING...ahhhhh....