Easing my way out of denial

I got up and did my run this morning. I didn't want to but I did. I've been putting my runs off until the pm and more days than not I can find a reason not to go. And the reason always seems more important than the looming 26.2 miles I have coming in less than 4 months. I've pretty much been in denial concerning this marathon. I thought long and hard about why this morning. It's not that I think I'm going to wake up the morning of October 3rd and run this baby without preparation. I know I can't. I just haven't felt the urgency to get going. The last 6 months or so of my life has brought along a few life changing experiences. Some that literally knocked me off my feet. I feel like I am still recovering, trying to learn to live this "new" life. And for some reason, running marathons felt like part of that old life. It doesn't have to be that way and I desperately want running to be part of who I am. I love it. I really do love to run! The truth is I've felt for awhile that taking care of myself has not been a priority but rather an after thought. Maybe that is why I've packed on 30+ pounds in less than a year. I know as mom's we tend to look at everyone else's needs before our own but it's been really hard for me to realize I DESERVE to be healthy and happy. Yes, I deserve it. Sometimes it takes something like signing up for a marathon even though you have know desire to do the training to really knock yourself out of your line of thinking. I'm committed to running this marathon which means I'm committed to training and I'm committed to taking care of myself so that it doesn't kill me. 16 weeks until the big day. No more "training for training", No more putting off runs or workouts. No more telling myself I don't have the time. Denial is over. Training has begun!

Well, I survived another week

I know, I sound so pathetic...Really though, at this point, survival is the best I can hope for. After countless messes and accidents I put Ian back in pull-ups. It doesn't seem to bother him. I give him like three accidents before I put them on but I'm thinking that even that is making me crazy so it's probably going to change. He goes back to school next week for a few hours a day and I feel like I might actually gain control again. That means chores, scheduled meals and activities. I know that we all feel better when there is structure but I haven't felt like I could even musture up the energy. I think we had one day last week that I never really made a meal. The kids just ate whatever (if they ate!). But, no more; I'm ready for the structure. The kids will still fight, the house will still be a mess and I'll be changing diapers on a 9 year-old but I will be doing it with a smile because I will have a plan. Wish me luck.

Emilia to the rescue

Why does all the crazy stuff happen to me? So today I decide to play the good mom and take the kids over to the local elementary school to play on the playground. I decided to be an even BETTER mom and grab a pizza so we can call it a picnic too. We spread out the blanket, kick our shoes off and have a piece of pizza or two. The kids play and it isn't long before they're begging for me to push them on the swings. I had brought along my journal and was jotting some thoughts but decided to be a good mom and push them. I left my journal and the kids shoes sitting on the blanket as well as the empty pizza box. After the swings, Millie wanted to show me a shortcut from the school to the park. We walked over to the far end of the school field and then turned around and came back. On the way back I noticed a man carrying what looks like a blanket and then he disappears. Surely someone didn't just take my blanket and my kids shoes right? No, couldn't be. We stop at the swings and swing some more but I feel unnerved about what I think I might have saw so I gather up the kids and head over to our picnic spot. Sure enough, the blanket, shoes, everything is gone. Ok? I think...are we not allowed to play on the playground at the school? Luckily the front doors are open and someone is in the office. I explain to her our situation and she starts trying to track down the janitor. "Surely" she says, "he wouldn't have taken your stuff". Thirty minutes later she reaches the janitor at home. Yes, he picked up our stuff...and threw it in the trash can. Not just any trash can but those industrial sized trash cans that most schools have. But not to worry...they were just emptied. UGH!!! We had to lift Millie into the can to retrieve our stuff. Getting her out was not easy as the can was about 4 feet tall and I'm just over five and she had nothing to step on to help her out. But we did it. She saved the day. Seriously, do people really just leave there blankets and shoes at the playground that often? I mean...did he really think I'd just abandoned my kids sandals? Turns out the janitor working was a teenager. I guess he doesn't realized just how expensive it is to keep kids in shoes.

Spa night?

One of Millie's favorite Christmas gifts was this spa kit.

She played with it lots right after Christmas but then it got put on her shelf and forgot about. The other day she pulled it out and asked me to help her with it. I put it off for a couple of days cause I just didn't need the mess. Last night I finally helped her mix up the vanilla cupcake foot scrub.

Somehow she talked her brothers into spa night. Who needs sisters when you have brothers who will do foot scrubs and facials with you?

Car shopping

So, we've decided to get a new car. Well, a new family vehicle, rather, since our family no longer fits in a standard car. I hate buying new things like this. New houses, new cars...they totally stress me out. How do you find the right one? What can we afford? Is it going to be a lemon? We wanted a vehicle that would seat at least 7, preferably 8. I wasn't keen on a Suburban or another big van. We had pretty much settled on buying a Honda Pilot. When we looked around and found we would have to pay more than we would like we started looking at other options. The Odyssey wasn't going to work, (once again, too much), Maybe a Durango? Well, I found an add for a killer deal on a Tahoe. We bought it pretty much sight unseen. It really was such a great deal we figured if it didn't work out for us we could turn around a sell it. We need to find a seat for the third row, it needs new tires and it needs a good scrubbing but I'm really excited. I've never loved our van. And somehow, I feel more hip rolling in the SUV. Of course I've joined the throng of gas guzzling vehicles on the road with the V8 engine. I hope I don't live to regret it!

Just more of the daily crap

If your squeamish, turn away now. I've wanting to post about this for some while now but haven't just because of the subject matter. But, it's become such a daily routine for me now that I just *have* to "journal" it. What is it about my kids and POOP??? Ian has been potty trained for 6 years now, Owen, 1. But, it never fails. Any and pretty much every time these two need to poop, it ends up on my walls, on the toilet, on the floor, in their pants, on their hands, on the toilet paper, on the sink and in the tub (cause that is where I throw them!). I clean up at least 3 of these messes a day. Keep in mind...this is just the poop messes, don't get me started on the pee! Yesterday, I had one kid in each bathroom at the same time! Today I've already cleaned it off the hardwood floor and it's only 8:30. All I can say about that one is thank goodness we don't still have carpet! How can I get these two to realize they are not puppies??? How can I get these two to realize that mommy is tired and disgusted and that she does not want to clean up anymore poop? I feel like one of those people in the parades that walk along after the horses scooping up the poop and putting it in the wheelbarrows. I follow after these two boys, scooping it up and throwing it in the toilet. I didn't realize I signed up to be in a parade.

Well, I survived the first day of summer vacation

But if yesterday was any indicator of how the rest of the summer will be I'm in BIG trouble! I woke up with a kinked neck but pressed on only to hurt my back later in the day. I tried my hardest to stay on top of the messes but it was nearly impossible. I was in pain all day and the kids were no help. I do not have a summer game plan yet and wanted to just have a week until we settle into the summer routine but not having structure was not a good thing. I'm still in quite a bit of pain today and the kids are already fighting...I survived last summer...I'll survive this summer too right? RIGHT?