Spring Break

I think St.George on Spring Break is becoming a tradition. We love it down there. There is so much to see and do we never have enough time to do everything we want. This year we had some friends join us for the fun. The more the merrier right? Here are some of the highlights. We stayed in Richfield the first night but I didn't take any pictures there. Even though the drive is only about 4 hours it was nice to split it up up. When we first arrived in St. George we headed to the park. After weeks of snow and rain it felt so good to be out in the sun. Take note of Millie and my matching shirts...she thought that was so cool!

We spent so much time in the hotel pool. I am so glad the kids are finally old enough to swim by themselves since I hate swimming. The kids loved swimming,I loved reading my book and Adam loved fishing!

Later that night the kids and I grabbed dinner and headed out to Quail Creek where we had dropped Adam off earlier too fish. The kids all went out on the boot but no one had any luck with the fish.

The next day we went to Sand Hollow. Adam had already spent the morning fishing there so we went just to play in the sand and water.



That night we grabbed some pizza and headed to Pioneer park. If you've never been there it is defiantly a place to go. There are a number of rocks to hike and climb. We got there a little too close to dark so we didn't have much time to hike. That and we had 3 kids 18mos and under! Still, we had fun.

Our last day there was spent at Snow Canyon. More sand and small little hikes.


It's always nice to get away and have some fun but it's also so much work. I hurt my back one morning picking up Ian off the floor when he was throwing one of his fits. He had a really hard time during the mornings which was when Adam was fishing. I was glad to have Lexi along to help me with him. One of Ian's favorite people in the whole world is Steve so he tagged along with him giving me some relief. It was defiantly worth the stress and I wish the weather here would cooperate and warm up!

Easter Sunday

 

Having conference fall on Easter Sunday this year was wonderful. There is nothing like listening to the leaders of our church testify of Christ to set the tone for this wonderful holiday. We do not celebrate Easter with baskets but have chosen instead to Celebrate the resurection of Christ. We do let the kids participate in an Easter egg hunt at my mom's house. Matthais was "too big" to do it this year. Boy, they grow up so fast! We had a great dinner with my family and there wasn't any fights (although, I thought it was close when we brougt up the dog poop in the back yard!)

Harris Day 2010

 

Our annual Harris day was split into two days this year. We started friday with a trip to the Lehi Legacy center for swimming. On Saturday we met at a church after the first session of Conference for lunch and games. It wasn't really any different from our usual get togethers but now that so many of the kids are getting older any excuse for the entire family to get together is great. It's strange now that some of the nieces and nephews are getting older and have their own lives. We have one on a mission and one getting married. Seems like they get to a certain age and we never see them anymore. This makes me sad yet I understand too. I'm just glad my kids are still young enough to appreciate these times together. I hope we are still doing Harris day in 10 years and we will have the next generation with us

Autism Awareness Day

Autism, as you know, is something that deeply affects our family. Everyday we struggle with this disease that is so common, yet, so mysterious. Our days rage from extreme silliness and laughter to screaming hysterics and tantrums; we never know what is in store for us. I wouldn't change it though. Ian has taught me more about unconditional love than I thought I would ever know. He is hard but he is such a joy. I love you Ian!

Another fantastic, dance filled Saturday!

It was a long day but so much fun. I really enjoyed this competition and watching all the other Hot Shots teams dance. I really wish we had gone up and watched the night before since some of our amazing dancers won overall in their solos. Millie loved being with the big girls. She looks up to them so much and wants to be just like them. Millie's group took second and they were so adorable! There is just something about these little girls doing their thing! I especially enjoy watching Millie because I know how much she loves it!

Sometimes it's really hard to figure out your place in this world.

Really this is something I've struggled with most of my life. In some ways this isn't such a bad thing. Growing up I never fit in with any *one* group but had lots of friends in different groups. I never was part of a clique. While I feel ultimately I was blessed to have so many friends with so many interests, it did leave me without any close relationships that I could carry on into adult hood. As a child I always longed to have a best friend. The closest I came to that was in 9th and 10th grade when I had 4 of them. The five of us did everything together. It was an awkward time in my life. I was trying to decide if I had a testimony of the gospel. I was discovering boys in ways I hadn't before. I was rebelling against my mom and her recent divorce. The "MB's" as we called ourselves were the only rock I had. I loved those girls and still do. Just before my 16th birthday my mom remarried and moved me from Provo to Lehi. As you can imagine this was horrifying. I was leaving the only stability I had. I was in a new town, in a new school, with a new dad and I had never felt more alone. Over the next few years my friends and I tried to remain close but soon enough I found myself grasping to hold onto the threads of our friendship as it slipped away. I found Adam and new friends in Lehi who helped ease the sting but my heart ached as my friends continued on without me. In Lehi I met a group of girls that were already established as best friends. Quickly they invited me in but I never felt as though I really belonged. When the one I was closest too moved just before our senior year I found myself alone again. Luckily Adam and I had just started dating so his friends became my friends and I wasn't totally alone, I just hung out with the guys. I was on the drill team and had many opportunities to make friends, it just never happened. Over the years since high school I've made a lot of great friends; Some I still talk to, some I don't but only few that have left a lasting impression. But one thing always stayed the same...I wanted a best friend. I was envious of women I knew who went to lunch, went shopping and just plain hung out together. I was envious of women who's families vacationed together. I could never understand why I couldn't have a friend like that. I felt and still feel deeply flawed. A few years ago I found a group of girls and for the first time in my adult life found like I had found the friends my heart had desired all these years. I was happy, I felt like I wasn't such a misfit and I felt like I had a life outside of my little family. It wasn't long before I realized that maybe I was a little more fond of this group of girls then they were of me. There were several heartbreaking incidents and lots of tears and many of nights wondering what is wrong with me. That was the one thought I couldn't let go of... What is wrong with me that people don't want to be close to me? My already suffering self-esteem took a nose dive and I spent the next year trying to rebuild my feelings of self worth. It was then I decided that if every friendship I've ever had ended painful then maybe they weren't worth having. I have since put my guard up and have let very few people in. I still desire to have close friendships, I still desire to feel like I fit in but in a lot of ways I've given up on ever finding the "ideal" friendship I've always wished for. When I discovered facebook it strangely lifted me in ways I hadn't imagined. I realized how many of those friends I'd collected over the years still cared enough to ask how I was or buoy me up when I was having a bad day. But having a social life on the computer isn't exactly how imagined things. The luster of facebook has since worn off but has opened my eyes to something I've had all along. I do have a few best friends. Our relationships aren't how I imagined them. There is rarely meeting for lunch, no family vacations and no girls nights out. In fact, I rarely ever see them. What there is however is patience, love and understanding. There is shared secrets, shared dreams, shared frustrations. There are hour long phone conversations, shed tears and side splitting laughter. There is a quiet understanding and words of encouragment. And through them I am made to feel like I really do have a place here in this world and that I do matter. I feel bad that I had these friends all along but never fully recognized their worth! I love these women and I am thankful to have them in my life. And, I am thankful for new friends and new relationships developing. I have to admit, my guard is still up and I am afraid of getting hurt but things are looking up. Maybe I'm not so pathetic after all!

Modifying my goals

I joined the gym on Saturday. I'm not quite at my heaviest weight ever but I'm close. Even when I ran the marathon in October I was easily 35-40 lbs over weight. It's time to take control. I know, I know...I've been saying this for over a year now. What's different this time? For one thing, I am much more emotionally stable right now. Of course if you asked Adam he might disagree but I feel it. I still have my moments but I defiantly feel more in control. Secondly, I have made some conscious efforts to change my lifestyle and to make healthier choices and in doing so I've already lost 7 lbs. I want my healthy life back. I'm looking at marathons tonight. I think I've decided to do Top of Utah since St. George entrance fee went up to $80. Yowza! That gives me 28 weeks to whip my butt into shape. I had a great run on Saturday that has left me motivated to do this. And I have the support of so many wonderful people. My husband is my biggest cheerleader and I thank him for that. Now, time to get into gear. If you need me, I'll be at the gym!