I've missed my blog

I remember the days that I would get up each day and blog. I remember the time the hubs banned me from blogging until the taxes were done. There was something so cathartic about blogging. It gave me an outlet, I could say what I wanted to say. I think I gave it up because I felt like no one cared, no one was reading, my words were not being heard.

The other day I was thinking about my memories of my childhood and how differently I remember them than my mom or my sister remembers them. I wonder if that will be the same for my kids? Already my kids remember things that have totally slipped my mind, little details of their lives so important for them to hold onto yet so unimportant for me to remember.

My kids are growing so quickly. Two years and I'll be sending my oldest on his mission. Two, short years. Then what? He will have flown the nest and slowly they all will start to leave. What are the things I want to remember? What are the things I want to hold onto? Time is so precious. Once a moment is over it's gone. Only the memory remains and these are the things I want to hold onto.

Memorial Day trip to St. George

With the three day weekend we decided to take a quick trip to St. George. John Jay, his boys, Hannah, Jordan and Braxton decided to join us. It was a lot of fun to have a fun little get away down there!

 Millie jumping off the cliffs at Sand Hollow

 Cousins

 Our family at one of our favorite St. George places; Pioneer Park.

 The whole group of us at the St. George temple

Not long after this picture was taken Ian took off on this bike. We were in a strange city, in a strange neighborhood and we were scared. Luckily we found him pretty quickly but we were all very thankful for answered prayers as that could have been a lot worse.

We're thankful for uncle John Jay and all the great pictures he took! We love when he comes and brings his camera and the kids just love him period.

Authors fair

 I love the tradition that our Elementary school does each year called the authors fair. Each child in the school writes and illustrates their own book. These have become a real treasure for us! Owen's was a cute story about a cat and dog named Bingo and Poppy. Millie's was also about a cat and a dog but hers was an action story. It's so fun to read their stories and see what their imaginations create!

Louis Graduates

 One of my baby brothers, Louis, graduated from the University of Utah with a degree in Economics. I was happy I was able to attend and cheer him on! It's been really fun being so much older than some of my siblings and watching them grow up before my eyes. I have a special place in my heart for my littles!

Thoroughly Modern Millie

Sometimes you are just so proud of your kids that you can't even put your thoughts into words. That is how I feel about Matthais. Sure he is a typical, know-it-all teenager who only cares about himself. He is also a talented, smart and very funny kid! I really enjoyed watching him play Jimmy in the Jr. High production of Thoroughly Modern Millie.

It was a lot of work and a lot of days spent after school and by the end of it his voice was shot but he was amazing and I am one proud mom! Way to go Tater bug!

Changes

Sometimes deciding to change is not enough. It takes effort. I don't know how many times I've started and stopped trying to lose weight. It's been a life long struggle. Two times I lost 50lbs and swore I would never go back. One time I got pregnant and had a baby and it all came back. The next time I just gave up and it all came back. You see, for me, losing weight and maintaining my weight is a 24/7 project. I can't let my guard down for even a minute. Sometimes it's simply exhausting and I just give up. For naturally skinny people this may sound absurd. I know the hubs thinks so at times. I have to think about every tiny thing that goes into my mouth and every single movement I make. I have to battle myself to stop after the second piece of pizza. I have to will myself to only have a bite of dessert. I have to force myself to workout. None of this is second nature to me. Ice cream after dinner? Not for this girl. Candy bar at the checkout counter? Off limits. One trip through the drive through leads to another and another and then pretty soon the pounds start packing on. It's really hard being addicted to something that your body NEEDS! I'm not like a smoker or a drinker that can simply quit consuming my addiction. Nope. I'm a food addict that still needs food to survive; it really is a huge battle. It's a battle I'm tired of trying to win yet I do over and over because I know how important it is. Once again the battle begins for me. This time I am striving for progress, not perfection. I am striving for health, not beauty and this time I am doing it for me because I want this.

Day 1- 38lbs to go

It's amazing how quickly time flies these days. My day is over before I feel like I really got anything done. Not to mention I have had one thing or another wrong with me since November. I want this blog to be a priority, it is part of my written history after all. I just need to get my schedule in order. Until then enjoy these pictures of our gingerbread house adventure!