Finding Joy in the Journey

When President Monson gave this talk in conference last month I had know doubt he was speaking to me. Recent events in my life have only confirmed it. I was feeling especially down and lonely yesterday so I decided to pull it out and read it again.

Yesterday was a hard day with Owen. He was excessively naughty and I had a hard time keeping up. I felt like I was drowning and no one was throwing me a rope. By time Adam came home I was defeated. As I sat sulking on the couch I pulled out this article and decided to read it. The first thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was this: "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly." What? How on earth will I ever miss this! I'm looking around at the crumbs and toys on the floor and the dishes in the sink. It seems like I can never really accomplish anything. I get the dishes done in the morning only to have more at lunch. I get the toys picked up only to have more dragged out. I get the laundry done only to have piles more at the end of the day. I know that as mothers we feel this way more often than not. Will I ever really miss this? The answer came as I was folding laundry. I held up Owen's little size 2 jeans and realized...he will never be this small again. I've thought about that often enough but it's never been as profound as in that one moment. Now is the time.

President Monson goes on to say: "Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.”3 We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us. Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”4"

Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved....

So many times we are consumed with all that is going on around us. Lately I have been surrounded by grief, anger, hurt and pain. Not only my own but others as well. I've felt very weighed down thinking that I need to be the one to fix it all. I am still aching over my cousins husband, I am aching over several family members alcohol and drug use, I am aching over the tension in my family, I am aching over my feelings of no self- worth. I am so consumed by these feelings that I am losing sight of those things that matter most...Those precious ones around me who love me unconditionally...They are what is most important.

Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.
Said one well-known author: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”6 I've realized that I've been living my life in the reality of lack of abundance. Never in a physical way. I've never been too materialistic. But...I've really been focused lately on all the things I don't have...a clean house, perfect kids, a social life, etc... I've been tending the wrong garden. No wonder I'm always so miserable!! I haven't seen all the good and glorious things I've been blessed with! Just the fact that I have the gospel in my life is my own personal miracle. "In the Doctrine and Covenants, section 88, verse 33, we are told: 'For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.'”

So, today, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and because of my love for the Savior, I am going to focus on those things I am thankful for. I am going to look at every thing as a blessing and a joy. I am going to play with my children more, worry about the messes less. I am going tell those I care about that I love them. I am going to find the "joy in the journey." "Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed."

(President Monson's full talk can be found at http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-26,00.html)