One week later

and I feel really good! but I also almost lept for joy when I realized I didn't have to spend a good chunk of my day running! My foot still hurts and for some reason my achilles has been aching but my toenails have quit hurting and my muscle feel healed. I am taking the next 4 weeks off of running to let my foot heal and I will be doing less high impact workouts until then. I'm starting P90X tomorrow. After 4 weeks I will try running again and will hopefully have enogh time to train before the half marathon in January.

Another year older...

This year I spent my birthday without much fanfare. Well, I guess for the last several years it's been that way. I watched kids (thursday's are my busiest daycare day) went to SEP's and to a visiting teaching interview. My husband brought me Zupa's for lunch and we went out to dinner. I had some amazing friends who showered me with love and lots of yummy gifts (and a flat of diet coke!!!). 34 was hard. I've never paniked about my age until this year. And I don't know if it's so much about turning 34 or just reflecting on my last year. The last year sucked. I can't say it anymore plainly than that. Emotionally I think I aged 20 years so no wonder I feel so much older than 34. And then there are the crows feet that have somehow managed to appear and the gray hair I pluck out every day. Really? Grey hair and wrinkles??? I'm doomed.

But even though I am another year older...I really am wiser too. I have learned who my true friends are. I have learned that some friendships aren't worth the pain that they cause you. I have learned to let go of things I have no control over. I have learned that when people struggle, the best thing you can do is be their friend. I have learned what it's like to love and to really be loved. I have learned that I can do hard things. I have learned that I am stronger than I thought. I have learned that I am worth it.

Yes it's been a really crappy year but I've learned so much from it and I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. Life will probably not get much easier but at least I am able to look at it through different eyes. Happy Birthday to me.

My first Marathon

We left for St.George on Friday and met up with my best friends from High School Jen and Missy at the little Expo that they held. We later went to the Olive Garden for some good ole carb loading. I didn't sleep that much that night...only 4 hours. I wasn't nervous so much as I just kept thinking about it. At 3:30 a.m. I got up and got ready.
We loaded the bus at 4:00 a.m. and the ride up seemed to take forever. Missy and I laughed knowing that we'd have to run all the way back. I wasn't prepared for the bitter cold we stepped off the bus into. Luckily the fires were up and going but if you stepped away from the fires for even a few seconds you would freeze
The few hour wait went by fairly fast and I had a lot of fun catching up with Missy. Jen and I talk every few weeks but Missy and I only keep up on facebook. And we share something in common...We've both kissed Adam...but that is a whole other story and we didn't talk about that! We were in line for the potty's when the gun went off so we started about 10 minutes later.
It was still so cold I felt like my muscles were already so sore...and we hadn't even started yet! The first six miles or so went great. Then I saw the hill. Nobody told me about this hill. That hill did me in. The rest of the run was a challenge. My knees hurt...my muscles hurt...I was winded. But I pressed on. At mile eight I noticed I couldn't bend my wrists. My hands were so swollen.
This is also about the time I could feel the blister on my toe pop. It hurt like crazy. It continued to fill and pop throughout the run.
Mile 13.1...halfway there but I felt done. This is when I first noticed the shuttles taking people off the mountain. Boy was I tempted. (not really).
The rest of the run was hard, long and lonely. Adam started calling and texting around mile 19 which was a great support to me.
This sign made me laugh...
This one too!

Mile 26
This is when I first saw Adam. I was so happy to see him I gave him a kiss and then let him run to the finish line so he could get a picture of me crossing the finish line.

Official time...6:06:34...I'm not complaining.

I am proud of myself and here is why you should be too...
1. I ran this thing 35lbs overweight. That number could be debatable because it's probably more like 45 but I am 35 lbs heavier than I was last year.
2. I trained during the worst summer of my life. Seriously. It started in April and didn't end until September (well, if if really has indeed ended). I didn't want to get out of bed those months let alone run.
3. I am not the best at following through on things. I wanted to quit soooo many times but I didn't... that alone is worth celebrating.

Things that didn't happen during the marathon that I thought would
1. I didn't die
2. I didn't puke
3. Didn't get the dreaded runner's diareha
4. I didn't cry

Things that I didn't expect
1. The bitter cold at the start
2. No toliet paper in the porta potties (really people!)
3. How immodest runners could be. I don't know how many men (and some women) who I saw peeing off the side of the road.
4. My feet to hurt. I expected my knees, my muscles and my back but not my feet. I'm pretty sure I have a stress fracture in my foot.

Would I do it again??? Maybe. But not alone. I would only ever do it again if I had someone running right along side of me.

But, I'm a marathoner now...I read somewhere that only 1% of people will ever run a marathon.
I ran the St. George marathon and I have the medal to prove it!

I'm a marathoner!

I bet you can't wait for the details!! I'm just waiting for the pictures to be developed and then boy do I have a story for you!

1 week and counting...

if you look to the right at my St.George Marathon ticker you will see that I am one week left until this glorious event. I.am.freaking.out. My last several runs have gone pretty good and I would even say my 20 miler was great. But, it's only 20 miles. I got this email from the marathon commitee a few weeks ago.

St. George Marathon Time Limit.
Keep in mind that the St. George Marathon has a 6 hour time limit. As a requirement for the race permit from the Utah Department of Transportation, State Road 18 must be opened after 6 hours to allow for resumed traffic flow.

After the road opens, it is impossible to guarantee the safety of any runner remaining on the state highway.

Time Limit Policy

All runners must reach the intersection of Snow Canyon Parkway and State Road 18 (south of mile marker 23)within 6 hours of the start of the race (12:45 pm). Any runner who is unsuccessful in meeting this time limit will be required to finish running the marathon on the SR 18 trail and city sidewalks where cones and barricades have been removed from the course, or ride to Worthen Park in a race shuttle.

This is a non-negotiable rule that will be strictly enforced by race officials and public safety personnel who have your welfare in mind.
Additionally, the St. George Marathon reserves the right to remove a runner from the course if, in our judgment, it is possible that serious or fatal injury could result from continued participation.
Please exercise wisdom in your participation.

See that last line?? Please exercise wisdom in your participation. Seriously? If I had any wisdom I would not be running this thing! So I have six hours. That is a 13:45 mile without any bathroom breaks. So far I've managed to run 13:30 minute miles but that is actual running time...bathroom stops are not included in this time. Today I did my 8 mile run in 12:20 minutes. So...I'm cutting it kinda close and I know this. And I also know that the world will not end if I finish this race in like 6 hours and 20 minutes. I'm so worried about the unknown. Thanks to Jen I know the horror stories of marathons. And...I've seen the pictures...

If I collapse do you think they'll carry me over the line???

My Dad

Tonight I had a little visit with my dad. I stopped to drop something off and so we talked. We talked about all kinds of things but not once did my dad bring up the big D. That's kinda how my dad is though. Our relationship is really complicated. I'm sure he'd talk to me about it if I asked but I didn't. I have a lot of questions for him but that'll be for another time. Tonight we talked about Ian and life in general. We talked about how quickly life goes by. He told me before I know it I'll be 51 and wondering where the last 10 years of my life has gone. I told him I already feel that way at 33. We talked about regrets and waking up feeling like we're letting life pass us by. I wondered about what he regrets...having me at 17? Missing out on my younger years? Selling me this house for dirt cheap? I don't know if he'd ever tell me...besides, some things are better left unsaid. My dad and I have missed out on so much of each others lives. It's really sad when I really think about it. But in the end...he is my dad...And...we love each other even though it's hard for us to say. I really enjoyed talking to him. Maybe this is a new beginning for us. Life is too short to not share it with the ones we love.

It really is all good

I immediately regretted my last post. After really thinking about it I realized how grateful I am for all the amazing ways my Heavenly Father blesses me. I read and re-read what I wrote and thought...That's it?? That's all you have to worry about??? Wow...you are so blessed! I didn't delete it because I really did feel so incredibly overwhelmed but seeing it on paper (or a computer screen rather) put it all in perspective for me. I am sad for the things that my family is going through. Some of them are dealing with trials because of their own decisions and some of them are out of their control but they each will provide learning and growing opportunities for them. And I can love and support them without becoming so emotionally involved. As for the things I'm dealing with...I really do love my life. It's not perfect. But it is good.