35

Here I am at the great 35, wrinkles and all

I have to admit...I was not looking forward to this birthday. I don't what it is. I didn't freak out about 30; but, 35, that is a different story. I really think it's because for years I believed I would be where I wanted to be by 35. Not so. The day itself was great. Nothing spectacular happened but I felt very loved the whole day and I just felt happy. The night before I had gone to dinner with my dad and brothers (my brother Gehrhart's birthday is the 7th) and I had so much fun being with them. I hardly ever see them and I'm so much older than them so we don't hang out very often. The day of my birthday I did a little shopping and took the kids to the Purple Pig grand opening and Adam and I went to The Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. Adam gave me the wheat grinder I had asked for so I also had to spend some of the day trying that out! This year I can honestly say I am so much happier than I was last year at this time. Things feel so much better and they continue to get better. I guess I just thought 35 should be the magic number in which I might somehow feel in control finally. Still working on that. I'm just grateful for another year and another chance.

Exhaustion

Anyone else as tired as me? I feel like I've been going 1000 mph and barely had time to catch my breath. It's always like that when Adam is gone and I'm on my own. How do single moms do it? How do military moms do it? I don't sleep well when he's gone and the stress alone in enough to do me in. I also wanted the house to look good when Adam came home yesterday which was no easy task. Everything falls apart when I'm on my own but I don't want him to know that. I want him to think I'm a strong capable woman who can handle her four kids. I don't want him to worry about me while he's gone. So, I wanted the house clean. Six, yes SIX hours of cleaning and it looked acceptable. By time he got home around 8:00 I wanted to plop into bed. Of course I was excited to see him and wanted to catch up and do a little snuggling but I was exhausted! I think I finally gave into sleep around 10:00 and slept until 7:45! I woke up in a panic realizing how late it was at that Ian's bus would be here in 5 minutes! The whole house was quiet and everyone was still sleeping so I put the "no bus" sign on the door and climbed back in bed. I could have easily fallen back asleep but I knew I needed to start my day so I just lied there. So here I am now....it's after noon and I'm still dragging my feet wishing I could crawl back into bed. But alas, I'm a busy mom and I have a hungry kid. Exhaustion will just have to wait!